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“You wish to know why I have not called nor written these last few years?”
“You have written, I know, but –”
“Sporadically,” he interrupted. “I have not been an affectionate son and I will admit that, knowing she had a companion, I took even less concern about my mother. It is not because I thought poorly of her, nor because there was any ill feeling between us, but simply because I did not wish for her to continue pressing her opinions and her considerations into my life.”
Deborah nodded slowly, although she had to admit that she did not fully understand what was meant by his words.
“I realize now that my mother’s eagerness to press me in the manner that she did came from her desire for me to be happy, and her concern that I was not.”
“You did not understand that at the time?”
He shook his head.
“I did not. I was only concerned with my feelings on the matter and wanted nothing more than to be entirely on my own. Thus, I avoided my mother for some time. It has only been upon her return that I have come to see the truth of her motivations and, in doing so, have struggled with my own sense of selfishness.”
There was no easy response to such a statement, and Deborah tried to find something to say, something which might reassure him, but found herself only smiling gently rather than saying a single word. There was, she realized, a sense of openness between them now, which she had not expected. Because he had come to speak to her in such a gentle and considerate manner, Deborah had found herself telling him a little more about her father than she had intended and he, in turn, was now beginning to respond in kind.
“I think it is wrong for your father to wish to remove you from his house, Miss Fullerton.” Butterflies began to beat their wings within her at the gentleness in Lord Havisham’s voice. “I cannot imagine that it is due to anything you have done and thus, I must assume that you are suffering under his lack of interest in you.”
Her eyes closed for a moment as she took in a deep breath.
“It can be trying, Lord Havisham, certainly.” Opening her eyes, she gave him a sad smile. “But I have found the importance of being grateful for what has followed thereafter, Lord Havisham, and thus, I feel that I cannot complain.”
He shook his head and ran one hand over his forehead.
“You are a great example, Miss Fullerton.”
Recalling how inappropriately she had spoken to him, Deborah laughed, causing Lord Havisham’s eyes to flare in surprise.
“After how I have behaved in your company at times, I am surprised you think so.”
Laughing, Lord Havisham grinned back at her, his eyes dancing with mirth.
“I do not hold such things against you, Miss Fullerton. There is something quite attractive about a young lady who has the strength of character to speak her mind upon occasion, regardless of whether or not what she says is found to be correct!” Deborah blushed, but could not keep the smile from her face. When his fingers touched hers, she did not pull away. It felt as though it was the right thing to do at this present moment. “I am glad that you are hereandthat my mother is here also.” Lord Havisham leaned a fraction closer, and Deborah caught the scent of citrus, her blush growing all the more. “But if there is anything that I can do which would be of assistance to you by way of your father, or your situation with him at present – or if you should even wish to merely discuss it with myself, then please know that I am always more than willing to speak with you. I pray that you continue to be certain of my trustworthiness, Miss Fullerton.”
It was a very generous offer and Deborah’s heart lifted as she smiled.
“Thank you, Lord Havisham. There is naught that can be done, nor than needs to be done, as regards my father at present but should there be any alteration in my circumstances, you can be sure that I will be willing to come to speak with you about it. It is of benefit to me that my father does not care one whit for London society and will do all he can to avoid any talk of the Season.”
“I am glad that you have confidence in me.” His fingers tightened around hers and, much to Deborah’s surprise, he lifted her hand. When he bowed his head, she assumed that he was merely going to bow over her hand – a kind gesture indeed – but when his lips brushed her skin, Deborah lost all sense. Heat seared her skin and blood roared in her ears, rendering her entirely speechless. Lord Havisham smiled and set down her hand before rising to his feet. She knew that she ought to rise also, ought to give him a curtsey and thank him for his time, but she could not. There was a delicate tremble running through her that made such things seem entirely impossible. “Good afternoon, Miss Fullerton. Thank you for your willingness to speak to me today.”
Deborah managed a small nod but nothing more. With wide, astonished eyes, she watched Lord Havisham as he turned on his heel and walked from the room, her heart still beating furiously. She still felt the imprint of his lips on her skin, but as she looked down at her hand, a soft smile pulled at her mouth. Something significant had taken place between them, and Deborah was glad of it. There was no tension, no awkwardness, nothing that could now trouble them. Instead, there seemed to be this strange, lingering uncertainty as to what it was that she now felt for Lord Havisham, but that did not trouble Deborah one whit. Instead, she could only smile, glad that, for the moment, things were a little more settled between them.
Chapter Nine
There he is.
Jonathan cleared his throat, lifted his chin, and then made his way directly towards Lord Thornley.
“Good evening.” He bowed just as Lord Thornley’s eyes turned towards him. “I do apologize for interrupting your conversation.”
“No, not at all. I was merely finishing a conversation with Lord Tenton about his estate.”
Jonathan smiled briefly.
“I see.”
“I am sure that –”
