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All my love,
Rose
A Sneak Peek of More than a Companion
Prologue
“Did you hear me, Honora?”
Miss Honora Gregory lifted her head at once, knowing that her father did not refer to her as ‘Honora’ very often and that he only did so when he was either irritated or angry with her.
“I do apologize, father, I was lost in my book,” Honora replied, choosing to be truthful with her father rather than make excuses, despite the ire she feared would now follow. “Forgive my lack of consideration.”
This seemed to soften Lord Greene just a little, for his scowl faded and his lips were no longer taut.
“I shall only repeat myself the once,” her father said firmly, although there was no longer that hint of frustration in his voice. “There is very little money, Nora. I cannot give you a Season.”
All thought of her book fled from Honora’s mind as her eyes fixed to her father’s, her chest suddenly tight. She had known that her father was struggling financially, although she had never been permitted to be aware of the details. But not to have a Season was deeply upsetting, and Honora had to immediately fight back hot tears which sprang into her eyes. There had always been a little hope in her heart, had always been a flicker of expectation that, despite knowing her father’s situation, he might still be able to take her to London.”
“Your aunt, however, is eager to go to London,” Lord Greene continued, as Honora pressed one hand to her stomach in an attempt to soothe the sudden rolling and writhing which had captured her. He waved a hand dismissively, his expression twisting. “I do not know the reasons for it, given that she is widowed and, despite that, happily settled, but it seems she is determined to have some time in London this summer. Therefore, whilst you are not to have a Season of your own – you will not be presented or the like – you will go with your aunt to London.”
Honora swallowed against the tightness in her throat, her hands twisting at her gown as she fought against a myriad of emotions.
“I am to be her companion?” she said, her voice only just a whisper as her father nodded.
She had always been aware that Lady Langdon, her aunt, had only ever considered her own happiness and her own situation, but to invite your niece to London as your companion rather than chaperone her for a Season surely spoke of selfishness!
“It is not what you might have hoped for, I know,” her father continued, sounding resigned as a small sigh escaped his lips, his shoulders slumping. Honora looked up at him, seeing him now a little grey and realizing the full extent of his weariness. Some of her upset faded as she took in her father’s demeanor, knowing that his lack of financial security was not his doing. The estate lands had done poorly these last three years, what with drought one year and flooding the next. As such, money had been ploughed into the ground to restore it and yet it would not become profitable again for at least another year. She could not blame her father for that. And yet, her heart had struggled against such news, trying to be glad that she would be in London but broken-hearted to learn that her aunt wanted her as her companion and nothing more. “I will not join you, of course,” Lord Greene continued, coming a little closer to Honora and tilting his head just a fraction, studying his daughter carefully and, perhaps, all too aware of her inner turmoil. “You can, of course, choose to refuse your aunt’s invitation – but I can offer you nothing more than what is being given to you at present, Nora. This may be your only opportunity to be in London.”
Honora blinked rapidly against the sudden flow of hot tears that threatened to pour from her eyes, should she permit them.
“It is very good of my aunt,” she managed to say, trying to be both gracious and thankful whilst ignoring the other, more negative feelings which troubled her. “Of course, I shall go.”
Lord Greene smiled sadly, then reached out and settled one hand on Honora’s shoulder, bending down just a little as he did so.
“My dear girl, would that I could give you more. You already have enough to endure, with the loss of your mother when you were just a child yourself. And now you have a poor father who cannot provide for you as he ought.”
“I understand, Father,” Honora replied quickly, not wanting to have her father’s soul laden with guilt. “Pray, do not concern yourself. I shall be contented enough with what Lady Langdon has offered me.”
Her father closed his eyes and let out another long sigh, accompanied this time with a shake of his head.
“She may be willing to allow you a little freedom, my dear girl,” he said, without even the faintest trace of hope in his voice. “My sister has always been inclined to think only of herself, but there may yet be a change in her character.”
Honora was still trying to accept the news that she was to be a companion to her aunt and could not make even a murmur of agreement. She closed her eyes, seeing a vision of herself standing in a ballroom, surrounded by ladies and gentlemen of theton. She could almost hear the music, could almost feel the warmth on her skin… and then realized that she would be sitting quietly at the back of the room, able only to watch, and not to engage with any of it. Pain etched itself across her heart and Honora let out a long, slow breath, allowing the news to sink into her very soul.
“Thank you, Father.” Her voice was hoarse but her words heartfelt, knowing that her father was doing his very best for her in the circumstances. “I will be a good companion for my aunt.”
“I am sure that you will be, my dear,” he said, quietly. “And I will pray that, despite everything, you might find a match – even in the difficulties that face us.”
The smile faded from Honora’s lips as, with that, her father left the room. There was very little chance of such a thing happening, as she was to be a companion rather than a debutante. The realization that she would be an afterthought, a lady worth nothing more than a mere glance from the moment that she set foot in London, began to tear away at Honora’s heart, making her brow furrow and her lips pull downwards. There could be no moments of sheer enjoyment for her, no time when she was not considering all that was required of her as her aunt’s companion. She would have to make certain that her thoughts were always fixed on her responsibilities, that her intentions were settled on her aunt at all times. Yes, there would be gentlemen to smile at and, on the rare chance, mayhap even converse with, but her aunt would not often permit such a thing, she was sure. Lady Langdon had her own reasons for going to London for the Season, whatever they were, and Honora was certain she would take every moment for herself.
“I must be grateful,” Honora murmured to herself, setting aside her book completely as she rose from her chair and meandered towards the window.
Looking out at the grounds below, she took in the gardens, the pond to her right and the rose garden to her left. There were so many things here that held such beauty and, with it, such fond memories that there was a part of her, Honora had to admit, which did not want to leave it, did not want to set foot in London where she might find herself in a new and lower situation. There was security here, a comfort which encouraged her to remain, which told her to hold fast to all that she knew – but Honora was all too aware that she could not. Her future was not here. When her father passed away, if she was not wed, then Honora knew that she would be left to continue on as a companion, just to make certain that she had a home and enough coin for her later years. That was not the future she wanted but, she considered, it might very well be all that she could gain. Tears began to swell in her eyes, and she dropped her head, squeezing her eyes closed and forcing the tears back. This was the only opportunity she would have to go to London and, whilst it was not what she had hoped for, Honora had to accept it for what it was and begin to prepare herself for leaving her father’s house – possibly, she considered, for good. Clasping both hands together, Honora drew in a long breath and let it out slowly as her eyes closed and her shoulders dropped.
A new part of her life was beginning. A new and unexpected future was being offered to her, and Honora had no other choice but to grasp it with both hands.
Chapter One
