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“Trying what?” He looked at me, and I could see the desperation on his face. The confusion. “What the hell does shereally want?”
“Ask her,” I said simply. “Talk to her, Lucas. If you need to hear something from her to help you feel better about this whole thing, then ask for it.”
“Don’t need shit,” he said, but he didn’t sound very confident. “I don’t…fuck…” He stared at the ground; mouth pressed into a thin hard line. “What I need to know…all I fucking need to know…is if she’d choose us over them. Over those assholes she thinks are her friends.”
I understood the feeling, the anxiety of impending betrayal. I tried not to dwell on thoughts like that, but there were things Lucas dealt with that I didn’t — mentally and emotionally. I couldn’t expect him to have the same easygoing approach I did; he had to find his own way.
“I think she’ll prove herself,” I said. “If you give her the chance.”
“And how exactly would I do that?” he said. “Put Alex on one side of the yard while I stand on the other and see which one she runs to first?”
I chuckled. “At least you still have your fantastic sense of humor. I don’t know, man, I’m sure you’ll think of something. Hell, you and Jason have been plotting that whole scheme to get back at Alex’s merry band of assholes, why not invite Jess to come along? See what she’ll do.”
He was silent as he thought about it for a moment. “That might be a good idea…we could bring her along on the revenge mission and really put her to the test. See who she’s loyal to.”
I clapped his shoulder. “There ya’ go. Very healthy method of communication, totally normal.” He glowered at my teasing, but hell, I was the one who’d suggested it.Nothingabout our lives was totally normal — we were weird fucks through and through.
And although Lucas had his doubts, I knew Jess wouldn’t let us down. Call it a hunch, intuition, whatever. But this time…
This time was different.
42
Jason
I don’t know what kind of psychopaths willingly got out of bed before the sun was up, but apparently, I was one of them now. I felt half dead when my alarm went off, and I came within inches of chucking my phone across the attic before Vincent reminded me sleepily, “It’s for Jess, just remember it’s for Jess.”
It was enough to finally push me out of bed.
I understood why Lucas was so irritated about the whole thing. He was fiercely loyal, but only once you had his trust, and that was extremely hard to come by. Jess was confusing to him, likely in the same ways she confused me. Every time I expected her to pull away, to fall back into her old habits of sneering at everything we did, she managed to surprise me.
Seeing her cheer for me during the competition had me flying so high I hadn’t had the slightest doubt I’d win. She didn’t need to do that. Our agreement had nothing to do with dating, or supporting us in our endeavors…but she still did. She was still genuinely excited to see me do well, and I was struggling to understand why.
The only reason I could think of, the one that kept running through my brain again and again, was that she was falling for us as much as we were for her.
Not even in a sexual way. The lust was already there; we’d all acknowledged that a long time ago. It wasn’t about that. This was different. It was like she was falling forus, for who we were and what we brought to her life.
I saw the way she looked at us, and the way the others looked at her. Even Lucas wasn’t exempt. I’d seen the furious, pining looks he shot her way.
It was dangerous to feel this good. Defaulting to pessimism usually felt safer, especially today.
There was a bad feeling in my gut, telling me something else was coming. I didn’t know if it would be Reagan, or more shit with Alex McAllister and his group, but something was stirring up alarm bells in me and I didn’t like it.
I arrived at the gym early, getting inside as soon as they opened. It was a massive place, still new enough that everything smelled like plastic and disinfectant. It was going to cost me double the monthly rate as my old gym, but whatever. I’d just been handed my new membership card when an incredulous voice said from behind me, “Jason? What are you doing here?” and I whirled around.
Jessica had her pink gym bag slung over her shoulder, and her long hair pulled up into a ponytail. She wore leggings and a sports bra; her face bare of any makeup. It was easy to forget how many freckles she had when they were usually covered. No mascara, no false lashes, nothing on her lips…
God, she was beautiful.
“I go here,” I said, holding up the card.
She stared at it in confusion, as if she suspected some kind of trick. “Uh…since when?”
“Since now.” I picked up my bag from beside the sign-up desk, heading back so I could find a spot to start stretching. Jess followed right on my heels.
“I thought you went to the gym closer to the house,” she said.
I grinned, although she couldn’t see it from behind me. “I needed a change of environment. This place is nice. Pool, sauna, a yoga room — I should have upgraded a while ago.”
