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But slowly, the sensation of being watched made a prickly feeling run up the back of my neck. I pulled slowly away from the kiss, turning to look at our audience. Danielle had come back inside and was staring at me — at us. Candace was close behind her, and on the patio, Nate had his eyes narrowed in our direction.
Perfect. We were getting their attention now.
I smiled sweetly, keeping one hand against Manson’s chest as I said, “Hey, girl! Feels like it’s been ages! Thanks so much for the invite.”
By the look on Danielle’s face, she was sincerely regretting theinvitation now.
“Sure,” she said, her teeth clenched. She and Candace proceeded into the kitchen, but they still watched us. My ears burned from wanting so badly to listen in on their conversation.
“...think she’s doing? I can’t believe…”
“So fucking weird. And what’s up with…”
“...whatever. Just keep an eye…”
I tuned them out. This was what it felt like to be on the other side, I guess, but it didn’t kill my confidence like I thought it would. In fact, being here in opposition to them made me feel better than ever. Their hatred and disgust fueled me.
Why had I ever been afraid of their rejection? I didn’t need them; I didn’t need these parties. Lucas didn’t think I’d be able to do it, but I was determined to prove him wrong.
I’d changed, and it was for the better. I wasn’t the same Jessica they used to know. I wasn’t the version of myself that I’d been in high school. This was my chance to abandon all that, to wash my hands of it once and for all.
We still needed to find Alex, but he wasn’t out on the patio, nor in the living room. It wasn’t until we’d done a slow circle through the house and came back into the kitchen that we finally found him. We walked in, and at the same moment, he turned from pouring himself another drink and spotted us.
“What the fuck?” His voice was loud enough to carry above the other conversations and silence them. People stared between him and us; some with confusion, some with expectant looks that something was about to go down. Alex’s shirt was off, showing off his sweaty muscles, and he was wearing a red baseball cap backward on his head. His eyes locked onto Manson and he snapped, “Who the hell invited you?”
“Um, helloooo?” I twiddled my fingers at him. “I did. He’s here with me.”
Alex worked his jaw, clenching so hard I was surprised I didn’thear his teeth crack. “Right. And why are you here, Jessica?”
“Why wouldn’t I be here?” I said, as if the answer was painfully obvious. “Where else would I be on a Saturday night?”
“Probably fucking the losers,” Danielle said. She and Candace had walked into the kitchen behind us, with Nate and Matthew in tow this time. It was clear they’d brought the men along to try to intimidate us. But no matter how much they postured and puffed out their chests, Manson remained entirely unbothered. His serene demeanor soothed me, keeping me calm despite how nerve-wracking this was.
“It’s a little weird how concerned you are with my sex life,” I said. Usually, their insults would have had me on the defensive. The urge to raise my voice was strong, but I wasn’t going to let them see me lose my cool.
Danielle clicked her tongue, casually examining her nails. “You know, Jessica, it’s sad that you think everyone cares so much about you. You’re like a little kid who put on a great big performance and didn’t realize that everyone was clapping out of pity. Like right now. Look at you! Did you come here just to parade your freak around? Do you need attention that badly?”
My veins felt like they were on fire. I wanted to fly at her, to claw her face and rip out her ugly extensions. But instead, I looked down at my phone and sent off a quick text to the group chat,Found Alex. The gang’s all accounted for. Move in.
I tucked my phone away, and lifted my head to find all of them — Alex, Danielle, Candace, and the guys gathered around — staring at me as they waited for a response.
With a laugh, I said, “Oh, I’m sorry. Were you all waiting for me to say something? I thought you’d have better things to do.”
Danielle looked absolutelylivid.
“You know what your problem is?” she snapped, stepping away from Nate to get in my face. People in the living room and on the patio were taking notice now, beginning to gather closer fora look at the fight. “You’re so convinced that the world revolves around your little finger, but itdoesn’t, Jessica. The only thing people are revolving around is your cunt, since apparently, you’ll give it away to any creep off the street.”
Manson made a guttural sound, and I glanced over to find him laughing. He didn’t care about his reputation, or gossip, or even the fact that there were people here willing to physically do him harm just for being present.
That was far sexier to me than any of these people mindlessly following the crowd.
I’d known Danielle for years. We’d shared secrets, we’d shared our dreams. But we’d also fed off each other’s toxicity, we’d encouraged the worst in each other. That wasn’t a friendship. Our relationship with each other had been parasitic, not supportive.
I had to wonder why I made her so angry. I didn’t want her man; I’d never intruded in her space. But then I thought of all the people I’d hated without reason. The horrible things I’d said about people I barely knew. How I’d judged people so harshly without ever giving the benefit of a doubt.
It made me feel powerful. It felt good to be the gatekeeper, to hold power over the social lives and decisions that others made. Doubtlessly, Danielle felt the same way.
“Maybe you should take some of your own advice,” I said. I didn’t want to hate her. But if she kept pushing me, I wouldn’t hold back. “The world doesn’t revolve around you either, and neither do I.”
