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“Oh, you’ve got it all wrong, Vince,” Jason said, head still bowed over his busted car. “She came here innocently and didn’t do a damn thing wrong. Not her fault, as usual.”
The guilt flooding through me was heavy, too intense to bear. Even though I hadn’t broken anything myself, I was still here. I’d followed Alex and the others, I’d broken in, I’d participated.
Lucas had called it right. I needed to be punished. I knew it, and I dreaded it as much as I desperately wanted it. Anything to make this crushing feeling of guilt and regret go away.
“I fucked up. I…I know this is bad.” I gulped. What I was about to ask for felt as difficult as dragging fish hooks through my guts, but I had to do it. “I get it, you’re mad. You’re angry and…”
“Angry is a fucking understatement,” Lucas said, his teeth snapping together near my ear. My heart was pattering like a rabbit facing down wolves — a very foolish rabbit who’d walked right into their den and lingered long enough to be caught.
Although I tried to sound brave, I doubt it worked. I took a deep breath and said, “I can take it.”
Manson’s mouth twitched as he narrowed his eyes at me. “You cantake it? What exactly do you think you’retakingright now? We’re pretty damn calm, considering what we’re lookingat, Jess. If we were to truly show you anger, you’d change your tune.”
“Then show me,” I said. “Punish me, if that’s what you want to do. I’ll take it. I deserve it.”
Vincent laughed again, but this time, Lucas joined him too. It alarmed me enough that I turned to look at him, standing in the shadows behind me with the lightbulb above him slightly flickering. He was…fuck…
Lucas was smiling.
“Punish you?” he said. “Is that what you want? Does that sound like a fun little game to you? Because this” — he looked around, his smile dangerously tight — “this doesn’t look like a game. This looks like you’ve earned some real fucking consequences.”
“Fine,” I said. I was blustering my way through every word. “I remember my safeword. You can just —”
Manson whirled toward me like a viper, lean body coiled with fury. His dark eyes appeared almost black as he looked down at me.
“I see what you’re doing,” he said, his voice a dangerous hiss. “Do you think that because you have a safeword that we won’t be properly punishing you? Or have you forgotten what it’s like to be over my knee?”
I certainly hadn’t forgotten. Finding myself bent over his lap in the middle of a party had been one of the most defining moments of my life, bizarre as that was. I’d accepted his dare to serve him but had never expected him to offer me a safeword, giving me a safety net in case things got to be too much.
That word gave me the freedom to kick and cry over his lap with complete abandon, knowing I had a way out if I needed it. They wouldn’t cause me harm, but they also wouldn’t make this easy.
I didn’t deserve to have it easy. I wanted to erase my shame, get rid of it as quickly as I possibly could. The only way I knew of todo that was to accept the consequences they wanted to give.
Manson was watching my face, eyes narrowed. It was a sharp and accusatory gaze, searching for any crack in my determination.
“You don’t know what you’re fucking asking for,” he said. He brushed a loose strand of hair away from my face, and the brief touch of his fingers against my cheek was electric. “We’ll make you cry. We’ll make ithurt.”
Behind him, Jason fixed me with a cold stare. “And we’ll enjoy every goddamn second.”
Ooh, fuck. My guilt was suddenly crowded by a swell of intense desire.
“Then make it hurt,” I said. “I’m telling you that I’m accepting the consequences.”
Manson and Lucas exchanged a glance. Then Manson straightened, cracking his wrists. The motion sent a tingle zapping through me. I took a step back, only to flinch when I nudged against Lucas and realized how close he’d been the entire time.
“How is the little slut going to make this up to us?” he said. His breath tingled over my neck, hot and dangerously close. I kept my eyes on Manson, but I could see Lucas in my peripheral vision, leaning around my shoulder as he watched my face. “I think I’d like to see her beg. What do you think, boys?”
God, the fact that this turned me on as much as it shamed me was so confusing. There was probably a psychology student out there who could write their entire thesis studying my horny brain.
Manson nodded along to Lucas’s idea as he stepped toward me, his hand cupping the back of my neck to jerk me closer. He was shirtless, every lean muscle defined by a slight sheen of sweat.
“I’d enjoy that,” he said, his fingers digging into my neck. “Ithink I’d like to see her begging for mercy.”
“I’ll give her one minute until she’s wailing like a baby,” Jason said. He was still standing against his car, face in shadow from his hood. He lifted his arm and curled his finger at me. “Come here.”
Oh, fuck. I instinctually took a step back but bumped into Lucas. He hissed in my ear, “Where do you think you’re going? He told you to come, so get your ass over there.”
Manson pushed me forward, using his hand on the back of my neck to propel me on my way. I stumbled slightly and Jason grabbed my arm, bending me over the back of the Z. The metal was freezing cold, and I squealed, pressing back against his hand, but it was like fighting a brick wall.
