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I closed the gap between us. She looked away at first, but slowly her gaze came up to meet mine. I caressed my fingers over her cheek, tucking her blonde hair back over her shoulder. Part of me still felt so angry, fury pulsing in my chest. But it was impossible to look at her without my heart softening. I was weakas hell for this woman. She could stab me in the heart and I’d probably still forgive her.
“So…you and Lucas?” she said, curiosity in her uncertain gaze.
“Are you surprised?” I’d understood her jealousy over Veronica — she had a grudge against that woman going back years. It was a sore subject. But I wasn’t sure how she’d react to this. If Lucas and I being intimate with each other was going to make her jealous too, it was a red flag I wouldn’t be able to ignore.
But a tiny smile came over her face. She hid it quickly, forcing her expression back to seriousness. “No, not surprised at all. It makes sense.”
“Does it? Why’s that?”
“You’ve been best friends for years,” she said. “You’re calm and he’s…not…but I think you help him be. He looks at you like he wants to listen, and I didn’t think Lucas wanted to listen to anybody, so…yeah, it makes sense.”
The expression on her face when Lucas had taken me into his mouth had been so damn sexy I’d almost come on the spot. She’d looked enraptured, torn between longing and fascination.
The silence stretched between us. She almost turned away but then hesitated, as if there was something more she wanted to say.
“Why’d you do it, Jess?” I said. “Why did you come with them?” I believed her when she said she hadn’t caused all that destruction. But she’d still broken in, she’d been right there with them the whole time.
Her eyes darted away, regret making her lips tightly draw together.
“I-I don’t know. Everyone else was going. They didn’t tell me what exactly…” She shook her head, cutting off the excuse.
I wanted to shake her. I wanted to beg her tothink, to stop trying so damn hard to please everyone else that she disregarded her own mind.
But I couldn’t make it my problem. Not again. I knew better.
I leaned down and kissed her forehead. She leaned into me, eyes closed, a soft sigh escaping her. I hoped she still felt the tension of her ruined orgasm. I hoped it kept her awake, the desperate desire to touch herself overwhelming every other thought until all she could do was fantasize and ride the edge.
“You’re not allowed to touch yourself tonight,” I said, and she stiffened. “Bad girls don’t get to come.”
Defiance flared in her expression. For a moment, even exhausted as I was, I almost welcomed the opportunity to bend her over again. But then she sniffed, rubbing her backside tenderly before she said, “Fine.”
“I expect a better answer than that.”
If she got to push me, then I was going to push her too. Her expression tightened as she struggled with herself, doubtlessly weighing the risks and rewards of any further snappiness.
Finally, she managed to grind out the words, “Yes, sir.”
The others were on the porch when I stepped back outside. Jason and Vincent were seated on the bench beneath the window, their faces drawn. Lucas was on the front step, a cigarette between his fingers as he stared toward the garage.
I sat down beside him, nudging against his side. The night air felt good, swiftly cooling me down. But frustration still sat on my chest like a lead weight.
None of us spoke for several long minutes. We’d dealt with this shit almost all our lives, in one way or another. We were accustomed to it. But some days, it all became too exhausting. The pure spiteful energy that had kept me going as a teenager was running out of steam, leaving me bitter and impatient.
I wanted to fuckinglive. Why was that too much to ask for?
“I have a competition in two weeks,” Jason said, his voicenumb. “Two fucking weeks, man…”
“You’ll be ready,” I said, turning to look at him over my shoulder. “We’ll get the Z fixed in time. I can promise you that.”
“We need to get Alex back for this,” Lucas said. He held the cigarette toward me, and I took it, relishing the burn as I inhaled. “We need to hit back and hit hard.”
“Damn right we do,” Jason said. “I should break that motherfucker’s fingers for this.”
We didn’t need to start taking risks when we were so close to getting out of this town. Butnotresponding to this was a bigger risk than doing nothing. Alex didn’t need retaliation to keep coming for us. He’d come anyway, and he’d keep escalating things if he thought he could get away with it.
We had to make it clear he couldn’t. There would be hell to pay.
Vincent sighed, and the bench creaked as he got to his feet. “All right. I think I’ll go to bed and have some real nightmares as opposed to this shit. Wake me up early. I’ll help get the garage cleaned up.”
