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Scratching his cheek, Ned shifted his weight and pocketed his hands, then redirected the conversation. “So… how’d you blow it? With Kai.”
Breck’s chest clenched. And then a dark laugh escaped. “Let me count the ways.”
Ned’s lips twitched. “Let’s hear it, you numbskull.”
Breck exhaled and started from the beginning. Every bad call he’d made since day one. When he finished, Ned didn’t reply, his expression that of someone considering every piece of an overall puzzle.
Finally, he nodded and gave a shrug. “Well, it’s obvious, right? Whatchu gotta do?”
Breck cocked a brow and eyed him. “Live and learn?”
Ned laughed. “Well, yeah. But that part goes without saying.”
Breck regarded him blankly, having no clue what his friend was suggesting.
Ned rolled his eyes. “Seriously? You’ve forgotten everything I’ve taught you already?”
“You’ve taught melotsthroughout the years, my guy. Like all the thingsnotto do after watchingyoucrash and burn.”
Ned laughed, not even trying to deny it. Instead, he seemed to wear that shit like a badge of honor. “Yes but, young padawan, you’ve missed the bigger picture. All those fails were merely the byproduct of eachexperience. Experiences I went after with much excitement because they brought mejoy.”
He gestured to himself. “Do I look worse for it? Or do I look happier, more satisfied? It’s better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all. You know the saying. Go big or go home. I’vetriumphedjust as fuckin’ many times as I’ve flopped.”
Breck crossed his arms. “So, what’re you saying? Go public and pursue this thing with Kai?”
“I dunno. Is that whatyouwant? Would that makeyouhappy?”
“Well, yeah, of course, but—”
“No.” Ned shook his head. “Fuck the buts. They’re bullshit words that talk us outta going after what we deserve.”
“Yeah, but—”
An empty beer can ricocheted off Breck’s forehead.
“No buts.”
Breck growled and rubbed his brow.
Ned grinned. And for some reason, that smile made it hard to be irritated.
Breck dropped his hand. “Thing is, it’s not just about me. What about my dad?”
“Is ithislife we’re talking about here, or is it yours? Who’s gottalivewith the choices you make? You, or your dad?”
Breck scowled and looked away. “It’s not that simple.”
“I beg to differ. I think it is. Answer me this: will you be happy if you let Kai get away? Will basketball be enough? The limelight? The money?Dad’s appeasement? Will those things give you what youneedlate at night, when you’re all alone? Or worse, when you’re lying in bed with someone you don’t even want? While the someone youdowant has moved on with someone else? Isthatthe future you’re fighting so hard for? Isthatthe life you truly want to live? ’Cause you only got one.Thisone, right now. Whywouldn’tyou do everything in your power to make it the best it can possibly be?”
Breck peered over at him. “What if, in the process of going after what I want, I lose my shot at the one thing I’ve worked my entire life for?”
“Bah!” Ned waved off the notion. “What ifsare just as bad asbuts. But fine. For the sake of argument, I’ll go with that shit and pose another question in response.What if,by going for it, youwineverything you’ve worked for—including your man?”
“That’s a pretty big gamble, G.”
“Yeah, but you know what’s asure fucking thing? Half of a life if you stay on this course. Fame and fortune, but a stunted soul from only ever being half the person you are. With a head full of regrets and a heart full of longing. Isthatthe future you’re really so afraid tolose?”
“Jesus,” Breck drawled. “When you put it likethat.”
