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Amidst the chaos in Breck’s mind, he registered Kai’s trembling. He was shaking nearly as badly as Breck. What’s more, he could feel Kai’s heart thundering against his chest.
“You’re okay,” Kai rasped against his ear. The way he said it though, made it sound as if he were trying to reassure them both. Abruptly, he jerked back and looked Breck over. “Are you injured?” he asked anxiously. “Does anything hurt?”
“I’m fine,” Breck croaked, even as his legs threatened to buckle.
“You probably have whiplash—”
“I’mfine!” Breck shouted.I’m not fucking fine. He launched himself back into Kai’s arms. Now that the danger had been averted, his emotional floodgates were gearing up to burst.
“Okay,” Kai murmured, holding him tight.
“Thought I was going to—”
“But youdidn’t,” Kai interrupted, his heart still hammering against Breck’s chest. Restlessly, his hands rubbed Breck’s back, as if, again, he was trying to comfort them both.
Breck groaned, face buried in Kai’s neck, his lungs still sawing, his body still quaking against Kai’s wall of strength.
“Slow your breathing,” Kai muttered.
Breck held him closer, steadied his inhalations, the idling of Kai’s engine skirting the perimeter of his awareness. More raindrops fell. His heartrate stabilized. His lungs regulated.
Until Kai shoved him away and started yelling.
“I can’t believe you fucking did this!” His expression was livid. He yanked off his harness. “How could you be so fucking reckless? So fuckingstupid?”
“I know!” Breck shouted back. “I wasn’t thinking! I was upset! And I couldn’t go back to the party, so I came here instead!” He gestured to the bridge, feeling like an asshole. “But then that deer came outta fuckin’ nowhere!”
Kai seethed, eyes pinning him with contempt, then broke into stalking tersely back and forth. “Right, blame the fucking deer. You could’ve killed yourself, Breck!Or someone else! You’re lucky I got here when I did! Jesus Christ!”
Breck floundered, stressed out and, honestly, kind of speechless. He’d never seen Kai so outwardly upset. Calm, cool, and collected were his middle names. Even when Breck had punched him in the face, he’d kept it steady.
“I’m sorry!” he blurted. “It was stupid!I’mstupid!”
Kai shot him a glare and kept on pacing, raking a shaky hand through his sopping wet hair. Breck took him in. Still dressed as before. Track pants, bare feet, and a snug white tee. Not white anymore, though. Thanks to the rain, it was virtually see-through.“I can’t deal with this shit, Breck! I can’t!” He sounded unraveled. “You’re over the top!”
Breck’s stomach knotted. “I’m sorry! IknowI fucked up!”
Kai halted and whirled to face him. “And yet, you refuse to change a goddamn thing!”
Breck reared back. “No way! Not true! I won’teverdrive like this again! I swear!”
Kai threw up his hands in exasperation. “It’s not about the driving! It’s aboutyou, Breck! You’re a self-sabotaging mess!”
Breck groaned and palmed his head. Kai was right. He felt like a ship tossed about in a total shitstorm.
Thing was, Kai had started to feel like his lighthouse. A beacon in the distance, quietly guiding him home. But when he cut him loose, it was like Kai went dark. And now Breck felt adrift and completely lost.
Swallowing, he dropped his hand. Kai was back to pacing, the set to his shoulders, his jaw, attesting to his current state. He was barely holding it together. Which was seriously the most confusing thing for Breck to behold. Where was Kai’s so deeply revered state of control? Was he trulythatpissed for having to save Breck’s ass? “Listen—”
“No.” Kai pointed at him heatedly, still stalking back and forth. “Do not say another fucking word.” He dug out his phone from his pocket. “I know a guy who owns a towing company. He owes me a favor and will take care of this shit. Just get in the fucking car and let me goddamn think.”
Breck nodded, glancing back toward his Altima, then headed for Kai’s car, that rope still fastened to something under its bumper. Kai’s Shibari rope, he realized. He must keep extras in his ride.
He shoved inside and shut the door, then peered out the windshield to watch Kai pacing as he talked on the phone. His wipers were still going—he must’ve jumped out in a hurry—his headlights illuminating his tense demeanor and rigid gait.
Breck’s insides twisted in utter shame. He’d thrown Kai into a situation he hadn’t deserved. For shit’s sake, Kai had nearly been forced to watch him plunge to his death.
Another groan crawled up his throat. What a nightmare. He looked back in the direction of his car, eyeing the tracks that’d torn through the grass and disappeared over the bank.
