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Needless to say, it’d been a long-ass night. Yet, when they finally dropped him off, he’d begun a whole new struggle to stay put at home. He’d wanted to go back to Kai’s so badly. His feet had been ready, his heart pounding rapidly. Luckily, Jegs and Charlie had intercepted before he’d done something stupid. Which showing up on Kai’s doorstep would most certainly have been.
He crossed at the street corner and slowly dribbled closer. Would Kai be there? And if he was, what would Breck do? Ring the doorbell and try to talk to the guy? Maybe just being near him would be enough.
His heartrate accelerated as he neared the building, the repetitive thumping of his basketball doing little for his nerves. His feet kept moving, closing the distance between them. He swallowed and eyed the door coming into view.
Damn. Its sign was turned to OPEN.
Which meant Kai was teaching classes today, maybe even right now.
Breck stayed his ball, holding it against his side, then made his way closer to tentatively glimpse inside.
Yup. Kai had a class in full swing. He stepped a little closer, unable to help it, and peered inside. It was late afternoon and the sky was overcast, so the interior lights were all on and shining bright. He spotted Kai instantly, the tallest and biggest by far. Not to mention the most gorgeous by a galaxy and a half.
Sighing, Breck leaned his shoulder against the exterior door frame and discreetly watched Gorgeous Grandmaster from afar. Just the sight of him made his stomach hurt. God, how he wished he could talk to him… But honestly, to accomplish what? Dole out another apology?
A humorless laugh shoved up his throat. How many would that be now? He went down the list. First one, when he punched Kai in the face. The second, when he bit the poor guy’s head off for an honest mistake.
For coming to his house unannounced and trashed again, then proceeding to make a pass at him with the finesse of an eighteen-wheeler.
And let’s not forgettraumatizingthe guy by making him a witness to Breck’s near fatal wreck. Only to end the night with the grand finale—after Kai had saved not just him but his precious ride—by giving Kai theI-thought-you-were-differentline before storming off.
Breck groaned. No wonder Kai thought him a child.If the shoe fucking fits. And goddamn it, it did. Which meant, at this stage in the game, another slew of patheticI’m sorrieswas a waste of time. Kai wouldn’t believe him. And in fairness, why should he?
He gazed at Kai through the glass. He’d never dare traipse into his dojang now. It would disrupt the entire class’s attention. At the very least, he’d be intercepted by Kai’s aides to find out why he was there. He’d have to bullshit something on the fly. With his luck, they’d be ace lie detectors and see right through his façade. Potentially deducing therealreason why he’d come to see Kai.
Breck’s gut clenched at the thought. Which only reminded him of why shit had gone south. The secrecy. His fear of being found out. The public finally discovering he was a closet bi. It all but maddened him, how badly he wished things were different. But his career choice offered no allowance for what he now realized he wanted with Kai.
Kai just wasn’t in the cards he’d been dealt. What’s more, Kai had spoken and expressed his stance. He wasn’t interested in any kind of clandestine relationship and definitely wasn’t interested in no-strings-attached sex.
And in truth, Breck wouldn’t have wanted that kind of thing with Kai anyway. He’d want more. He realized that now. Not just Kai’s body, but his affections. His heart. Which was never going to happen as long as he stayed on his current path.
He needed to let it go and get on with his life. Live with his choices and not look back.Like Kai’s doing, Breck thought as he watched him through the glass, wholly focused on helping his students hone and master their craft. Kai was amazing and smart like that—and clearly understood that cutting Breck loose was for the best. For once, Breck should earn that title ofjejaand follow his teacher’s lead.
Heart heavy, he turned away and started walking, rubbing his sternum as he fought back a frown. He needed to be smart like Kai, but God, smart fuckinghurt.
* * *
“Dude. Did you see who was hanging outside the dojang during class?”
Standing at the reception counter, Jin glanced at Dindy. “No. Who?”
Dindy grinned, walking over to join him. “The king.”
Jin’s brows hiked. “Breck Harland?”
Dindy nodded. “He just stood by the door for a minute but never came in.”
Jin peered through the glass to the sidewalk out front. “That’s weird. Maybe he’s thinking about signing up for another class.”
“Pssht,” Dindy scoffed with a laugh. “Dude’s probably stalking one of the hotties taking taekwondo.”
Jin snorted. “No fuckin’ way. He’s Breck the Unattainable, remember? He doesn’t chase after anyone. They come tohim.”
Dindy crossed his arms and nodded. “That’s true.” His gaze turned contemplative. “Although, now that I think about it, he kinda looked like crap.”
Jin lifted a brow. “In what way?”
“I dunno. Like he was conflicted or some shit. Like he wanted to come inside but also didn’t.”
