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3
Madeline
I stared out the window into a black, nothingness. I couldn’t feel anything. Not even my heart beating in my chest. Every part of me was numb as I sat in what used to be my living room before I moved out of the trailer park to live on the KLMC compound. My emotions were all over the place. I was heartbroken, then angry. Confused, then worried.
As if I wasn’t already devastated, I wasn’t allowed in our bedroom. Raul had said Storm needed time and tried to show me to a guest room in the basement. He might as well have ripped out my heart clean from my chest. I’d told Raul to go to hell. If I couldn’t sleep inmybedroom, I wasn’t staying at the clubhouse. I didn’t care if I pissed off Raul or anyone else. They had no power over me.
After some heated words with my brother, Raul and Hero didn’t stop us from leaving. Although Raul did order a prospect to go with us.
If I thought my heart couldn’t break anymore, I was severely wrong. Not long after we got to Tara’s place, Toby sat me down to tell me whatreallyhappened twelve years ago.
Discovering Storm was Kaleb Knight, my childhood crush, was only half the madness. The man I loved wasresponsiblefor my brother’s death. I could hardly draw in a breath as I cried. I was in agony. But not for my brother, Tommy. For Storm… Kaleb. KC.
Toby squeezed my hand. “It was an accident, Maddy. A horrible, horrible accident.”
I nodded, wiping my eyes. “Maybe so…” I inhaled a shuttered breath. “But I know Kaleb. Death by his hand would never be considered a tragic accident. All this time, he’s carried unbearable guilt. It made him angry and closed off. I saw it in his eyes every day we were together but he hadn’t told me why. God, Toby. Twelve years he’s lived with this pain.”
Then I came into his life. I was his light, his Angel. He must have come undone knowing I was the sister of the boy he killed.
“I know he didn’t mean to hurt Tommy,” Toby continued. “We were all screwing around at the lake. Drinking and having a good time. Kaleb and I dared Tommy to jump in naked. It was a dumb dare, but Tommy was so chicken shit about the fish trying to suck his dick. We’d had such a long, stupid laugh about it.” Toby dropped his head and shook it. “We were tired of waiting on Tommy. We had plans with girls on grad night.”
A small smile tugged at the corner of my mouth as I wiped tears off my face. “Typical.”
“I’d told Kaleb one way to get on with it was to toss Tommy’s ass into the lake, and so he did. Tommy struggled against him, but Kaleb was stronger. When he launched him into the water, I thought I heard a thump but wasn’t sure where it came from. It was storming, bad.” Toby stopped and inhaled a deep breath. He closed his eyes, shaking his head. “Dammit, if I could rewind time. I do anything to bring him back.”
I squeezed his hand as he’d done to mine a minute ago. “You don’t have to do this.” I really didn’t want to know how my brother died. It hurt too much to open this up after a dozen years had passed.
“Yes, I do. All these years later, when I hear the crack of a bat hitting the ball, I flashback to the night Tommy died.” He hung his head in his hands. “It was my fault too. We were being assholes and it cost his life.”
“Oh, God.” I covered my mouth, utterly horrified.
“I can’t watch baseball because of it.” He sniffled, rubbing the back of his hand across his nose. Toby always loved baseball. “When Tommy didn’t pop up out of the water as he should have, Kaleb and I freaked out. Kaleb jumped into the lake to search for Tommy, but it was too damn dark and pouring down rain.” Tears streamed down Toby’s face, just as mine returned. “I swear it was an accident. I swear. We never meant to hurt him.”
I bobbed my head, swallowing and sniffling. “I know, I know.” I reeled Toby into a firm embrace.
We held each other for the longest time crying. Once we calmed, I had some questions of my own. “Why didn’t anyone tell me how Tommy really died?”
“Mom and Dad thought it was best you not know. You were so young, Maddy. You didn’t need to know Tommy’s death was because of Kaleb and me. He drowned, that was the truth, but nobody wanted you to be reminded of it each time you saw us.”
I dried my tears with a tissue. “But I would have understood it was an accident.”
“Didn’t matter. Mom and Dad gave the order, and Kaleb and I followed it.” He blew his nose, then gulped a glass of water.
“Why did he leave right after the funeral?” I remembered it like it was yesterday. Kaleb had kept me tucked into his side through the church service and burial. He’d held me while I cried, not once shedding a single tear of his own. Even so, pain and grief dwelled in his stormy gray eyes.
Kaleb had taken care of my every need. Tissues, punch, food, comfort. He never left my side. When it was over, he’d hugged me and apologized, kissing the top of my head. I’d felt better having him with me and had looked forward to the next time I saw him.
Except I never saw Kaleb Knight again.
“Do you remember Kaleb’s dad, David, was the president of the motorcycle club in Garrison?”
I nodded.
“The locals were spreading lies in town about Kaleb murdering Tommy as an initiation into the club. They didn’t know shit about how the club brought in new members, but it sure as hell wasn’t by murdering innocent people… innocent kids.”
“Oh my God…” My stomach churned.
“To defuse the gossip, Kaleb’s dad sent him to his uncle. I never knew where.” Toby balled up his tissues, jaw tight. “I’ve only heard from Kaleb twice since he moved away. When he was in the marines, he sent me a long letter apologizing for destroying our family. He took all the blame. Knowing Kaleb, he’d kept it on a low simmer inside him, so he’d never move past it.”
