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I cut my gaze to Storm’s.
“Do as my queen says, brother. But if you drop Birdie, I’ll mess you up.”
Madeline rolled her eyes. “He won’t drop her, but he does need to practice holding babies. So when he’s reunited with Emilee and his son, he’ll know exactly what to do. Right, Storm?”
Storm only growled. His wife was a badass. She was patient with him and respectful of his position in the club, never sticking her nose where it didn’t belong. Madeline was a force to be reckoned with. She had strong views of right and wrong compared to the rest of us outlaws.
Madeline placed Birdie in my arms, fixing my hands just right. “I want you to come see me every day to practice, okay? I’ll teach you how to care for your baby. It’ll be Daddy Boot Camp.” She gave me a sweet wink.
“Yes, ma’am.” I kissed Birdie’s head, a tear streaking down my cheek. She stared up at me, still sucking on her finger; the sound of it melted my heart. Her little body felt so good in my arms. Warm and soft. “Thank you, Madeline.”
“You betcha, daddy.” She smiled brightly, her sweetness wiping out the misery that had been consuming me.
Storm tugged his wife into his arms. “Angel, I see now.”
“About damn time.” She lifted onto her toes and kissed him, popping up one leg. Naturally, she had on her favorite brown boots with a cross stitched on them.
I smiled, feeling a little lighter as I cuddled Birdie.
The two pulled apart. Storm put his arm around my back. “Gimme some time to look into Justin. I’ll have Grizz see what he can find out. Then I’ll call church so we can put a plan together.”
A lump formed in my throat. “Appreciate it, Prez” was all I could muster. He just better not be fucking with me. I wouldn’t give him or anyone else another chance. I was hanging by a thread, ready to snap any second. No telling what I’d do if they let me down again.
Storm guided me to the backyard. “Let’s go enjoy the party.”
I spent the next couple of hours at a picnic table, this time with Ire and Wolf. The three of us were the downers in the club. I was for an obvious reason: my woman wasn’t there.
Ire hadn’t been the same since the attack at The Bullet. And well, Wolf… the brother was mourning his love. He attended functions like a trooper, but anyone could see how much pain he was in.
The couples in the club congregated at one table. Storm and Maddy had taken Birdie inside, and my younger cousins had been left with the babysitter, a.k.a. a prospect. Raul and Tina were sitting with Hero and Tara, Sugar, and Sugar’s twins, Maddox and Markey.
Several kittens had slipped into something a little more comfortable:bikinis.
“Guess the party is about to get less family-oriented and more orgy-focused,” I muttered to no one in particular.
Ire grunted, his thumbs flying across his cell phone screen. I couldn’t see who he was texting, but the tension usually on his face had disappeared. I’d noticed a change in him over the last couple of months. It made me wonder what or who to thank for my brother’s improved moods.
Wolf grunted. “Jill hated this part of the parties.”
“Was that why you’d leave early?” I asked him, raising my beer to my lips. I imagined Emilee wouldn’t like open sex displayed in front of her either. I didn’t care either way, but it didn’t put me off too much.
“Yeah.” The corner of Wolf’s lips curled. “We’d have our own sexfest in our room.”
“Fuck. Sounds amazing.” I scanned the yard. “I miss sex.”
“Me too,” Wolf admitted.
It was then Ire stopped texting and raised his gaze. “Why don’t you guys grab a kitten? That’s what they’re here for.”
“Because I’m taken,” I blurted, then cringed inside for sounding like an altar boy. I wasn’t like most of the patched members, who banged all the kittens. Even before Emilee, it didn’t feel right to sleep with a different woman all the time. I wasn’t a saint. I was a one-woman man. Once Emilee entered my life, she was all I wanted.
Wolf dragged his hands down the sides of his face. “It’d be a betrayal.”
“It’s been six months,” Ire told him. “She wouldn’t want you alone forever.”
“My heart won’t let me. She was my life.” Wolf never talked this much. Poor dude probably needed to get shit off his chest. “How can I have sex with another woman?”
“I feel you, brother.” I patted his back. “Don’t think I could either.” Not once had I considered taking a kitten into my room. As Wolf had said, it would’ve been a betrayal. I loved Emilee. We never broke up. As far as I was concerned, we were still a couple. I’d never cheat on her.
