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10
Jaynee
I sniffled as I applied my makeup. Sadie was on the bed watching a movie. She’d been quieter than usual. Yesterday I didn’t have to work, so we spent the whole day splashing in the indoor pool, but Sadie didn’t giggle or smile as she usually would. Out of guilt, I’d ordered a small cheese pizza for dinner.
It cut me deeply to have my baby ignore me. She’d never been angry with me.
I wasn’t dealing with it well.
Monday night had been uneventful, mostly. It had never felt icky to dance topless before. I’d been doing it for years and was freaking fantastic at it. But having Sadie in the club, out of my sight with strangers around her, had made me hate myself. No preschooler should ever be exposed to naked women and horny assholes.
I’d zoned out during my four-hour shift. Went through the motions, getting lost in the music. Dreaming of the beach, Sadie’s giggles, and her radiant smile. When I was finished, I collected my money and my daughter.
That son of a bitch Ernie had only given me one hundred and sixty-eight dollars. Far less than what I’d expected. He claimed Mondays were a slow night. I was furious but didn’t stick around to argue with him. Sadie needed to get out of that lewd place and be put to bed. By the time we got back to our hotel room, it was almost one in the morning. I’d stupidly missed our bus stop and hadn’t realized it until I was totally lost.
A dozen times or more yesterday, I’d almost texted Zander. I was lonely and had no one to talk to, but I stopped myself. I shouldn’t rely on him to make me feel better because my child hated me. It wasn’t his problem. We weren’t his responsibility.
It didn’t help my mood that I was worried Richard might find us. I’d blocked him on my phone after Zander removed the tracking app, but he messaged me on Instagram, spewing the same threats that he’d take Sadie from me. He might have a case if he knew I had taken her to the club. He could accuse me of child endangerment. Hell, if I was a judge, I’d remove Sadie from my care.
I didn’t know what else to do. Go to a homeless shelter? Return to Vegas? Richard would fly us back, but then I’d be indebted to him… probably for life.
No, Jaynee. No man will control you. You do what you gotta do for you and Sadie.
Blowing out a cleansing breath, I exited the bathroom.
“Okay, sweet girl. We should be going,” I cheerfully announced.
She glared at me. “No.”
“Sadie, I already told you I have to work tonight. If Mommy doesn’t work, we can’t move to the beach.”
“I don’t want to go to your work.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “I want Zander.”
Don’t react. She’s just tired.
Of course she was. It was after six in the evening. My shift started at seven.
And how could she get attached to a man she’d only been with for a few hours?
“Please, Sadie. Mommy is already stressed about working at Ernie’s.” My lip trembled, tears pooling in my eyes. His customers weren’t like the ones in Vegas. They looked rough and dirty; several wore matching leather vests. “I don’t have a choice, baby. We need money.”
She stared at me with a stricken expression.
I couldn’t bear it. I darted into the bathroom and broke down.
Dammit, Jaynee! You’re failing.
I shook my head, staring at my reflection in the mirror. Mascara dripped down my cheek. I was a hot mess.
Why did Lisa have to die?
It wasn’t her fault I was in this situation. Nope, it was all mine. In my haste to get out of Las Vegas, I’d spent all my money on plane tickets. I didn’t have a backup plan. No plan B, C, or D. Lisa had been all I had.
Then Zander rescued us.
Call him. He said he was there if you needed him.
I didn’t need him.
