AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’ve not been in contact with my parents since the day I left Fargo.”
“Why’s that? I mean, they were shit parents, but you loved them. I assumed they helped you get away.”
“No, they didn’t help me. They wouldn’t let me live at home if I kept the baby.”
“What?” he roared and squeezed me tightly. “They wanted you to get an abortion?”
“Mmhm. They hated you, y’know?” Even an innocent baby because he was the father.
“Christ, baby. I’m so sorry they did that. So you left?”
“Yes. It wasn’t easy. I loaded my car with anything that had value to sell or pawn later. That first day I made it to Nebraska and stayed in a motel. I cried all night.”
“Dammit, I hate that I hurt you so much.”
“I know. Just listen, okay?” I needed to keep going before I lost the courage to tell him my darkest moment.
“Sorry, keep going.”
“It was rough, exhausting, and I was an emotional wreck. I don’t really know how I made it through the first five or six months.”
“But you did, baby. You’re the strongest person I know.”
“Stop trying to make me feel better. I’m not a good person, Abe. I’m trying to show you who I am and how I got here. You need to know before you decide to be with me.”
“There’s nothing to decide, Karma. I’m with you for life.”
“Just listen to me.” I shook my head, wiping my face. “Just listen.”
“Fine, continue.” His embrace tightened. I didn’t mind. I needed his strength for my confession.
“When I was eight months pregnant, I hit rock bottom while living in Kansas. Nothing was going right. I couldn’t afford to feed myself and keep a roof over my head. I worked in a diner for the free meal I’d get during my shift, then I cleaned motel rooms to get a huge discount on a room. None of it mattered because I was still broke.”
“Shit.”
“I didn’t have regular prenatal care. I had no idea how my baby was doing. If she was healthy or developing normally. I didn’t even know she was a girl until I gave birth.” I choked up, remembering how lost I was during that time.
“Do you want something to drink? Water? Whiskey?”
I shook my head. “I was miserable, Abe. Alone and scared, my due date was approaching. I didn’t think I could raise a baby on my own. Hell, I didn’t want to. I felt hopeless, so much so I want to end it all.”
“No, baby. Jesus Christ, don’t tell me—” His arms around me tightened.
“I wanted to die, Abe.”
“Fuck,” his voice broke at the same time, a sob ripped from my chest. “Don’t fuckin’ tell me this, don’t.”
“I have to,” I cried. “I need your forgiveness for wanting to kill myself and our baby. I hate myself for it. I hate myself for being weak.” I cried into his chest.
He held me tighter like he’d never let me go as his body shook under me. I wouldn’t dare steal a glance to see if he was crying. My heart wouldn’t be able to take it if he was.
“I’m so fuckin’ sorry.”
“It’s me who’s sorry. If Issac hadn’t found me as I dragged myself into the lake and went under, Nova and I wouldn’t be here today.”
“No, no, no.” The most heartbreaking sound came out of him as his lips pressed against my head. “I’m so damn sorry.”
We held onto each other for dear life, me crying and him sniffling. As the minutes passed, I felt the weight of the world fall off my shoulders. I could never forget the night I attempted to end my life and my baby’s. I only told Abe because he needed to know how bad it had been for me. He needed to know my darkest moment and how I became closed off and mean.
