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“Are you sure?” she whispers.
“Yes,” I say firmly. “They may have beat Matt, kept him in a cage, abused him, and tortured him, but they can’t change him. Nobody can. He’s my brother, and he’ll bring Kelly home safely.”
“But you said….”
“I know,” I whisper, not needing her to finish. “Matt had his problems with gambling and booze and drugs, fine, but he’s still Matt. He’s still the man who served four tours and did countless ops. He’s still a man to be very afraid of, Jennifer. I can promise you that.”
“I trust you,” Jennifer says.
We drive in silence for a while, and then I feel her watching me.
I know what she’s going to say.
The thing I promised I’d tell her back in the safe room.
“About Kelly.”
“Yeah,” I say, nodding. “But I can’t tell you everything. You need to know that upfront.”
“Why not?” she asks.
“Because I gave Kelly my word.”
My stomach gives a tug, wishing I could just tell Jennifer all of it.
It wasn’t a bad thing, Kelly did, but she knew it would hurt Jennifer. She knows it could affect everything.
“But about Kelly and me, there’s something you really need to know.”
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
Jennifer
I wrap my arms around myself as we drive further from the city, the buildings beginning to get further apart as we move to the outskirts, then the countryside.
Jamie looks like he’s on high alert, his eyes wide, his grip tight on the steering wheel.
My heart is thudding just looking at him, drinking in all the affection, the attention, and now I’m waiting, feeling like I’m going to freaking snap, to hear what he has to say about Kelly.
Matt, Peggy’s betrayal, all of it.
It fades away.
“We were never in a relationship,” Jamie says. “We never kissed. We never…we never did anything intimate. I didn’t want to, and neither did she. So there was never any attraction there.”
I feel my tattoo pulse, not for the first time, as though reminding me of its presence, of everything it means.
Thinking of how I felt in Jamie’s tattoo chair, it all seems so long ago, even if I know that’s not right.
“So why pretend?” I whisper.
He looks over at me, drinking me in with his gaze.
I feel so wanted when he looks at me like that, and especially now I know he and Kelly never kissed, never did anything, and never wanted each other.
Never needed each other the way Jamie and I do.
“That’s the part I can’t tell you,” Jamie says. “We had to pretend… but I’m sorry, Jennifer, I can’t say why. It would mean coming between you and Kelly. I know how much you mean to her and how much she means to you….”
He laughs humorlessly, staring hard at the road. “And I know you probably want to yell at me for being so damn vague.”
Reaching over, I place my hand on his forearm, squeezing gently.
Her lip twitches somewhere between a smile and a smirk.
“I just don’t get it.”
“I wish I could explain. But I gave her my word. I take that seriously, Jennifer. It’s something I’m going to teach my children, to keep their word, the same way my father taught me.”
My whole body tingles at that, buzzing moving up and down me, temptation trying to make me climb into his lap and start writhing so we can make those children now.
And the other thing? The nerves buzzing through me whenever I think of sex?
Later.
Despite everything – Kelly still isn’t safe. Matt’s out there alone, but I still can’t help but feel a swelling sense of victory.
“So you and Kelly have never done anything?”
“Never,” he says.
“While you were pretending, for whatever reason, you were never tempted?”
“Never,” he snarls, snapping his gaze to me. “I haven’t been in a relationship for decades…until you.”
I swallow, a special feeling flurrying through me, telling me this is it.
I’ve finally found the place where I belong, with my man, our family….
“Really?” I whisper.
He reaches over and places his hand on my leg. My body responds even if I’m still sore with the shootout’s stress. My sex gives a tremor, and my core seems to sing and scream, telling me this is my man, my chance for a future.
“Really,” he says firmly. “And, Jennifer.”
“Yeah?”
He tightens his hand on my thigh, letting me know how badly he wants me.
“I was hungry for you. Every goddamn second I was pretending to be with Kelly. At every party, every time I saw you. I wanted and ached for you. I needed you. I knew I fucking owned you. You were – are – mine.”
Taking his hand from my leg, he pulls the car to the side of the road, stopping beneath the clawing foliage of a group of trees.
The road is quiet, with a few passing cars, but mostly it’s just us, me, my man, Lucifer, and Benny.
Jamie turns to me, his features tight, even as I’m sure I can see a smile trying to break through.
