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They leave the room.
Matt watches them go, then turns to me.
“So you’re with Jennifer, then?”
I chuckle. “How’d you guess?”
“I didn’t have to guess,” he says. “It’s plain as day.”
“Maybe to you.”
“Yeah,” Matt nods. “I’m happy for you, Jamie. I’m going to get some rest too. Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“No,” I say. “It’s a good idea. We’ll have work to do soon with Junior.”
Matt stands, laying his hands on the table. “Yes, we will, serious work. What about Peggy?”
I shake my head slowly. “She’ll be long gone if I know her….”
I trail off.
“Which I clearly didn’t, not completely. But still. She’ll have disappeared.”
“Yes,” Matt says. “But we might be able to find her. You know there’s a chance.”
I look sharply at him. “Maybe we could. But I don’t think I could do it, kill a woman, kill Peggy, even after everything.”
“I know,” Matt says, sighing. “Me neither. She just better never come back. Or we’ll have to have this conversation again.”
“Agreed.”
“Jamie,” Matt says after a pause. “I need to ask you something.”
“Anything.”
“If I try to place a bet, or sip a single drop of alcohol, or if I look like I’m going to go back to my old ways, no more caring brother stuff. No more being there for me. I want you to stop me. I want you to force me to remember.”
“Remember what?” I ask.
“This,” he says fiercely. “This feeling. Knowing I can do better. I feel better now, despite all the shit – despite being thirty pounds lighter and feeling ill in a dozen different ways – than I ever did back then. That’s a sign if there ever was one.”
“You’ve got my word,” I tell him.
He nods, turning away, not needing to say anything else.
My word is good enough for him.
And, unlike with Kelly and Jennifer, I’ll have no reason to break this. No reason to doubt it.
Only Jennifer can make me so obsessed.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-ONE
Jennifer
I wake as the sun is setting, my head feeling groggy as I rise from sleep. Kelly’s sleeping next to me, curled into a ball, her knees drawn to her chest as though she wants to protect herself.
Since she’s showing no sign of waking, I softly climb out of bed, walking through the cabin and into the kitchen.
Benny’s relaxing in the hallway. When I enter, he stands and follows me into the open-plan kitchen living room.
I can see Jamie sitting on the porch, his back turned to the window. He’s changed into a short-sleeved shirt, showing off his tattooed arms. And then he turns, looking at me, a smirk playing on his lips.
Walking to the front door, I step onto the porch, breathing in the cooler air.
“Are they still sleeping?” Jamie asks.
I walk over, clawing at my clothes. They’re starting to feel really freaking stinky.
“Yeah,” I say, nodding.
He looks up at me, his lips trembling, and then reaches over and loops his arm around my hip. He pulls me into his lap.
I don’t fight it, can’t, don’t even want to try. Now I know he and Kelly never did this, even anything close to it. It’s so much easier, sweeter.
Jamie doesn’t care if my clothes smell. He doesn’t care if I’m not all dressed up for him.
He wants me for me, the same way I want him for him.
Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, we sink into each other, kissing fiercely as I shift in his lap.
Feeling his inflamed manhood, feeling how badly he wants this. I’m pushing against his pants with my sex and I know he can barely contain himself.
But I need him to contain myself, a small voice whispers, telling me to cool this off before it gets so hot we can’t control it.
Standing, I walk to the edge of the porch, looking out at the forest.
“Sorry,” I say, glancing at him, a tremor twisting through me when I take in his intense eyes, completely focused, staring at me like nothing else exists. “I haven’t showered yet.”
“You think I care?”
He stands, walks over to me, and loops his arm around my waist. I glance at the house through the open door, but there’s only Benny sprawled out. Matt and Kelly are nowhere to be seen.
I want to sink into Jamie’s touch, to collapse against him and feel his solid protective impulses.
“What if they see?” I whisper as Jamie leans down and tenderly kisses me on the neck.
“I don’t care,” he says. “I told you, Kelly and I were never together.”
“But…” I look up at him, my whole body pulsing under his gaze. “Won’t she be annoyed? Or worried you’re going to tell me…her secret?”
It sounds so weird, speaking about her secret when here I am, in the arms of her ex-boyfriend.
Not really, not technically.
But as far as the world’s concerned, they were together.
“I’m guessing you haven’t talked about it,” he says.
