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As much as my insecurities wanted to latch onto that, I couldn’t. “That doesn’t sound right either, knowing how much he detests and resents her. So that’s not what I think.”
He put his burger down and brushed off his hands. “You know what I think?”
“What?”
“I think Eddie’s verdict is in.”
“What is it?”
“I think you were upset to see him laughing because you somehow applied it to his feelings toward you—like how could he possibly be happy when he’s supposed to be miserable, missing you. Am I right? Somehow his laughter showed that the world hadn’t, in fact, ended for him without you in it.”
Wow. My eyes widened. I think Eddie just hit the nail on the head. “That’s it, Eddie. That’s what bothered me. It felt like a reflection of his feelings toward me, even though he’s never given me a reason to doubt them. I think I’ve been ultrasensitive lately because of the stress of the situation. It must be warping my sense of reality.”
I took a deep breath. Somehow having worked this out in my head made me feel a bit better. “Damn, you’re good, Eddie Muscle. Wanna trade tattoos for therapy?”
“I like that idea.” He bit into his burger. “Just think, Barbie could’ve been spared a botched haircut if you’d just talked to me sooner about this.”
I chuckled. “I guess I’ll never live the Barbie thing down, huh?”
“Probably not.” He winked.
“Great.”
Eddie poured some salt on his fries. “A lot of things make people laugh, Billie. You shouldn’t read into it. Sometimes we have to laugh for survival. You probably just caught the dude in one of those moments.” He pointed a fry at me. “I’ll give you a great example from my own life. You know about my divorce, right?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“It wasn’t pretty. Very bitter. Lots of resentment. I told you that whole story once.”
“Yeah…” I sipped my water.
“She and I weren’t speaking for a long while. On the day we went in to finally sign the divorce papers, we were in the conference room with the two attorneys. It was quiet. And I shit you not, her lawyer just ripped one right in the middle of the damn thing.”
“What?” I started cracking up.
“I don’t think it was intentional, obviously, but still. He sneezed and a huge freaking fart came out. Nicole and I looked at each other as if to say: did you fucking just hear what I did?” He smiled at the memory. “Then we both lost it. Totally lost it—two people who’d barely spoken a word to each other in two years. There we were, still hating each other’s guts, but we enjoyed that moment together, nevertheless. You know why? Because we’re human. That’s what humans do. We laugh at sick shit, we laugh with our enemies, and sometimes we laugh when we probably should be crying.”
I wiped my eyes, no longer knowing whether I was laughing or crying. “Thank you for the perspective, Eddie. You’ve helped me see everything differently.”
“Good.”
“Does it make me selfish that I still want him to know it upset me, and I’m doing that by not responding to his text for three days?” I asked.
“There’s nothing wrong with making him sweat because he does need to realize how difficult this whole thing is on you.”
Poor Eddie let me vent to him that entire lunch. Then he drove us over to the shop since I’d offered to do a quick add-on to his most recent tattoo that he’d mentioned he wanted—on the house, of course.
After we finished, we stood outside the shop. As I did whenever I was out on the street in front of the building lately, I looked around for Colby, on the off chance he was leaving or passing by. I never quite knew if I was wishing to run into him or praying not to, but adrenaline always pumped through me until I was safely back inside.
“I can’t thank you enough for taking my mind off things today and for your wise insight,” I told Eddie.
“Well, you’ve done a lot for me over the years, Billie.” He lifted his arm. “Each one of these beautiful pieces of art you’ve inked brings me joy every day. The least I could do is return some of it.”
“You really are a great guy, Eddie. You’re gonna make someone very happy someday.”
“Hopefully not as happy as I made my ex.” He guffawed.
“You’ll find the one. She’s out there. I just know it.”
“Spoken like a true friend.” He winked. “As much as I’ve been trying to date you all these years, I’m happy to have you as a friend, Billie. Although if you ever change your mind, I’m totally DTF.”
Down to fuck.
“Kidding,” he added. “I know that ship has sailed.” He winked again. “Unless you bring it back to port.”
I laughed, wrapping my arms around Eddie to hug him goodbye. He gave me a peck on the cheek. When I let go, my stomach sank. Brayden was approaching the building. He offered me a slight smile and wave before he headed inside. I assumed he’d seen me embrace Eddie. My first inclination was to run after him and try to explain, but then I concluded that would probably make me look even more guilty. After all, Eddie and I were just two friends sharing a hug; there was nothing to explain.
