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Shelia harrumphed.
“Okay, fine, I didn’t want him to know I come with that kind of baggage. Acknowledging the sicko in my life who never really went away makes it too real. Not being able to stop Robbie from sending me this shit, for crippling me with fear, makes me feel weak. Makes me feel less than what I should be. I didn’t want to be that woman to Lucas.”
“And telling him would have sent Lucas running the other way?”
“Maybe.” But even she wasn’t convinced by her doubt.
“Well, then he ain’t the man for you, is he?”
“You ask too many questions,” Addy said, inhaling a deep breath and blowing out. “I’m tired of people seeing me as a victim. I didn’t want Lucas to look at me that way. I wanted to be the woman who’d healed and grown stronger. Even if I’m not.”
“Now, that’s a lie,” Shelia said, tossing down the wire cutters. “You can handle anything. I did, didn’t I?”
“But you don’t have to worry anymore. Your cross to bear is rotting in the cemetery-”
“And good riddance,” Shelia interrupted, easing her girth onto a stool. Today she wore monochromatic red with jangling silver bracelets. Her curls had red woven within the ebony depths. It was a very edgy, hip look, but Shelia’s eyes were those of an old soul. “Tell your man.”
“He’s not my man. He’s-” Addy snapped her mouth closed because she didn’t know what in the hell to call Lucas. “Why mix him up in my misery?”
“Because you got a thing for him. Because he has a thing for you. What? You just gonna let him saddle his horse and ride away?”
“Yeah, I am. He lives twelve hours away. It’s not like he’s up the road a piece, and I’ve always known that whatever we shared—friendship, sex, whatever—was a blip on the radar of my life. Neither one of us can do forever. We each have our own lives to live, lives far away from each other.”
“So love doesn’t matter to you?” Shelia folded her arms and raised her painted on eyebrows.
“Love?” Addy tried to snort like that word didn’t make her knees weak. She couldn’t go there with Lucas. Or maybe she refused to let her heart go there. They hadn’t talked about a future, only a present. But what if? “I don’t want to be in love with Lucas.”
Shelia’s crack of laughter made Addy jump.
“You think you can control love? You can’t. Love is a sneaky sonofabitch. He’ll tap you on the shoulder, and when you spin around, punch you right in the face. You can’t run from love, sugar.”
“I’m not in love with Lucas,” Addy said, pleading more with herself than with her friend. She knew she lied like a dog… which really didn’t make sense because dogs couldn’t even speak much less lie.
Shelia’s answering smile said it all.
“Go over there and tell him tonight. Let him into your life, Addy. Stop running. Stand and fight.”
“I’m not running. From him or Robbie.” And as she said those words, she straightened. Last night she’d not slept a wink. She’d woken that morning haggard and worn. After an afternoon basking in Lucas’ arms, she should have faced Monday strong and content. Instead, she’d crawled into her existence, reverting into something she’d never wanted to be—a shadow, a scurrying bunny darting away, fearing the unknown. She’d become a victim all over again.
Addy lifted her chin. “I’m not running.”
Shelia searched her face with a careful eye before nodding. “Good. I decided long ago I could be knocked down, but I’m gonna get right back up and fight for myself. That’s what you have to do on both accounts. Fight for love, and if the time comes you have to face your past, fight that no good piece of scum. He may come for you, but you’ll be ready. Cause you ain’t no victim, Addy Toussant. You remember that. We ain’t rats, and we ain’t hiding.”
Addy smiled, the first smile she’d tried on since she’d found that damn box and opened it. “Hell, no, I’m not.”
And then the phone rang.
“Fleur De Lis,” Addy said into the receiver, knowing her father was on the other end of the line.
“He’s out,” her father said, disgust heavy in his voice.
Fear snuck inside her resolve and leg swept her intentions. But Addy refused to give in so she choked it down, smothering it with determination. “Did you see him?”
“Of course. He comes in and I get to say my piece. The jackass sneered at me the entire time, and when they announced he had been rehabilitated and would be paroled, he turned and winked at me. Can you believe the nerve?”
“Good. He’s feeling confident, isn’t he?” Addy said, anger building inside her at the cocksure manner of the man who’d given her both physical and mental scars. “Well, I’m not a girl anymore. I’m a grown woman who understands better the sickness in his mind, and I’m a grown woman who knows how to defend herself. I’m not afraid of him anymore.”
“Baby, you don’t have to go all Rambo on me. I want you to be careful. Talk to Flora about being on guard. The security guys will be there this afternoon, and I’ll go out and meet with them. They’ll finish by this afternoon, so tonight you will have an alarm. I also talked to Lt. Greer about having a few patrol cars drive by a couple times, especially at night.”
