Page 36 of Sweet Talking Man


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"Great opportunity, but don't discount Eva. She looks gentle but she's like a praying mantis. You may wake up without a head."

Jake made a face. "They only kill their mates, not the person up for a promotion against them."

Eva Monroe was the only female firefighter in the parish and also one of Jake's closest friends. "Speaking of which, is she still dating that guy? Uh-"

"That's over," Jake said, dabbing up crumbs with his pinky finger and popping them into his mouth. "I'm not here for idle chitchat."

Abigail glanced up and Jake jerked a thumb toward Birdie.

"Oh." Abigail dropped the dishcloth. "Hey, Birdie, I need to talk to Uncle Jake for a minute. Can you go finish your homework in your room?"

Birdie's lips flatlined. "Why do you treat me like a baby? I can carry on a conversation with Uncle Jake. I'm not a kid anymore."

"It's not that," Jake said, pulling a hank of Birdie's hair. "I need to discuss something private with your mom, 'kay?"

"Is it about sex? 'Cause I know you have sex with a bunch of women."

"Birdie!" Abigail shouted.

"What? I know about sex, Mom, so you don't have to have your little talk with me. Geesh."

Abigail opened her mouth, then snapped it closed. How much did Birdie really know about sex? Yeah that "talk" thing breathed down her neck. She'd bought a few books to help her discuss the birds and the bees with her daughter, but until Birdie had forced her hand, she'd been too chicken to broach the subject.

Another parenting fail.

Jake laughed. "Man, I love coming by here."

"What?" Birdie said, with a lift of her shoulder. "Maddie Free told me all about sex last year. She brought one of her brother'sHustlermagazines to a slumber party. The pictures were really perverted, but then we read about sex and stuff in her mother'sCosmopolitanso I know how it works."

"Hustler?"Abigail said weakly. She looked around for the stool she'd shoved out of the way earlier and sank onto it.

Jake grabbed the wine Abigail had opened and poured a glass. Setting it in front of her, he said, "Drink."

Abigail lifted the wine, seeing her brother distorted though the glass. He looked like a wicked jack-o'-lantern. She took a long draw and caught Birdie with a gleam of triumph in her eyes. The little turd.

After two more gulps, Abigail set down the glass. "Birdie, Uncle Jake isn't here to talk about his sex life, and I'm disappointed you took your lessons about sexual intercourse from a disgusting magazine. We'll talk about this later. Gather your things and get upstairs."

Birdie glared at her. "I didn't like the disgusting pictures in case you're worried. Man, you have some crazy sex hang-ups. You should really start subscribing toCosmo.They have all kinds of articles on things like the G-spot and how to-"

"Birdie!" Abigail could feel the heat in her cheeks. Birdie smirked, knowing exactly what she'd done. "Upstairs now, missy."

Her daughter slammed her book shut and stalked toward the door.

"Bye, Birdie,” Jake called.

"I'm going by Brigitte now. Bye," she said, pushing out the door with a swish of dark hair.

"Holy shit," Jake said, his shoulders shaking with mirth.

"Oh, shut up." Abigail ran a hand over her face, grappling with the fact that she now had to correct the information her daughter had gleaned from a porno mag. She drained her glass, almost wishing it had been Cal who'd dropped in rather than her brother. Birdie would never have dropped that bomb on her dad.

"So what's up with her… besides now knowing what the G-spot is?" Jake asked.

''Oh, God," Abigail said, shaking her head.

"It's okay, Abi. Don't you remember yourNational Geographiccollection and finding that copy ofThe Joy of Sex?It's natural."

"Maybe so, but Birdie's mad at me because I told her that I wouldn't entertain the thought of her father living with us. That was her way to get back at me."

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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