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Something hot sizzled in the back of Jake's throat at the emptiness of his brother's words. He wasn't talking about Jake as much as he was talking about what he'd been struggling with over the past year.
His brother looked up at him with sad eyes and said, "Ready?"
"Sure," Jake said, his thoughts as jumbled as the line of the reel he'd backlashed and set aside. He'd not had a clue about Eva's interest in him... and he wasn't so sure he could trust his brother's assessment. After all, if Matt could read women, he wouldn't be sleeping alone while his wife was fifty miles down the road, working for some swinging dick with an art degree and a sizable bank account. But truth sat fat and ugly in those words Matt had uttered.
You'd break her.
Eva was emphatically not a woman a man messed with and then set aside.
So was Jake ready for that step in his life? Commitment? He'd never wanted to marry and stay in Magnolia Bend like some of his high school buds.
So why are you still here, knucklehead?
He knew the answer to that one- he was too afraid of leaving the past behind. Because guilt had treble hooks just like his crank bait, and they'd latched on to his soul, preventing him from taking what he wanted.
Sure, his psyche demanded he be true to himself and stop covering his regret with a veneer of good time Charlie, but that gosh damn guilt tripped him every time. How could be grab hold of life, love, and adventure when he'd denied his best friend any chance for the same thing? And he couldn't bring in the fact that their friend Angela had died.
So Jake did the same thing every day. He got up and he was Jake Beauchamp, hardworking fire fighter, hard-playing Romeo. That was who he was. Didn't have to think or feel. Didn't have to remember the things he'd once wanted or the person he'd once wanted to be. Total chicken shit but there it was - the hard, ugly truth.
He climbed from the boat when they reached the camp launch and helped his brother unload. Took a while because Matt was adamant about everything having its place.
As they were leaving, Matt said, “Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I guess."
"Hmm." His brother locked the boathouse and walked toward his truck.
"What did that mean?" Jake asked, following suit.
"Nothing."
"Jesus, Matt. Don't do that. You have something to say, say it."
"You are you, so in this case with Eva, don't be you."
Jake wanted to tell his brother to go screw himself, but he didn't. Because Matt was right. He couldn't take advantage of Eva's feelings and act on the weird emotions twisting inside him. He couldn't risk that. "I won't."
EVA TAPPEDDOWN the tent stake and stood, arching her back. "There. Done."
Jake was at the barbecue grill, flipping hot dogs while four little boys tackled each other in the small side yard. The oldest, Will Beauchamp, had organized a complicated, made-up game that was part capture the flag, part football, and part wrestling match. Eva didn't understand the rules, but Charlie hadn't stopped smiling since they began playing it.
"Next time I go camping, I'll invite you. You broke my record for tent assembly," Jake said, closing the barbecue lid and grabbing the beer sitting next to him.
Eva crossed the yard, plopped onto the wrought iron patio chair, and took a swig of water. "Maybe you shouldn't be drinking beer around kids."
"Why not? It's Friday night. I'm an adult. I'm not offering it to them."
"Yeah, well, you're the kind of guy these little boys look up to. They might think it would make them cool to try it."
Jake gave her a look as if she was a cuckoo bird, but he poured out the half-drunk beer and placed the bottle in the recycling can she'd set outside to collect all the empty water bottles.
''Thanks for coming over to help me," she said.
"That's what friends are for. Besides, I like having you in my debt. Christmas will be here before you know it, and I'll have gifts that will need wrapping."
"Uh, I hate wrapping presents," she groaned.
Somehow she'd owed Jake a favor last year, and he'd shown up on Christmas Eve with several shopping bags and a roll of hideous wrapping paper. She'd even wrapped her own gift from him.
