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Color flooded her face before she set her jaw. "You're just mad because I didn't collapse at your feet and squeal, 'Oh, Jake, yes, a date would be lovely’.”
"No. I'm mad that you're being stubborn. That you've talked yourself out of taking a chance.”
"For what? A two-or three-month fling before you move on to Tracy at the Cut-n-Curl? For one thing, we work together. When you cut me loose, you'll still see me. And for another, our friendship means more to me than that. I don't want to ruin us, Jake."
''And what if it's not a two-or three-month thing? What if it's more?"
Something flashed in Eva's eyes. The power of the emotion within the depths hit him. Everything Matt had said the day before came spiraling back.Eva's always had a thing for you.For her, this wasn't about sex. It was about her heart. And that made him hesitate.
He'd only thought of the pleasure... of the way she made him feel. Even after talking to Matt, weighing the pros and cons of dating Eva, he'd still managed to convince himself he could handle the fallout when they called it quits. After all, they were adults and friends. It would be like Elaine and Jerry on Seinfeld-two ex-lovers who still hung out. But he'd never contemplated love.
Eva gave an incredulous laugh. "Please, Jake. I've been your friend for over three years. I've watched the parade of women. You're good for two months at the most. I'm not looking for casual, Jake. I never have."
"So you're telling me you thought Chase was forever?" His words were like darts, angry, metallic. Sharp.
"I wanted to."
Such honesty. One of the things he liked about Eva. When she talked about her personal life, she never covered the ugliness with a pretty latch-hook rug, pretending the damage wasn't there.
"So the answer is no? Because you've already decided you know me. You've decided I'm that kind of guy, huh?"
"I think the answer has to be no," she said, sorrow coating her words, making her voice raspy. "We can't be so selfish as to take what we want without foreseeing the ramifications. The downside is too bumpy."
He felt for the doorknob, her rejection stinging him. He felt under assault-his character assassinated. But it had all been brought on by his choice to live as he'd lived. Jake now reaped what he sowed. Eva thought he was pure heartbreak. "So this is what we're left with? A strained friendship?"
Eva stood, her chin relaying her determination even as her hands trembled. "I want you, Jake. That's something I can't deny, but I couldn't bear it if you weren't in my life. I'll take what we have over what we could lose. I've spent three years pretending. I'll deal."
Jake opened the door, turning back to her. "You’re afraid."
Eva nodded.
"That's no way to live, Eva.”
"Says the pot to the kettle."
Jake flinched.
She continued. "We do what we do to make life tolerable. My life's not horrible, but I've never had what you have here in Magnolia Bend. You have a big family who loves you, who are always there for you. I've carved a place in this town, and I finally feel like I belong somewhere. If I'm a coward for protecting that, then that's what I am. I won't toss all I am so I can sleep with you for a few weeks. I just can't."
He gave her a curt nod, afraid of the emotion churning inside him. His brother was right. Eva was right. Everyone was right. Jake wasn't the kind of guy a chick dated with the dream of wedding cake and chubby baby feet in her eyes. Though he wanted Eva with a need that shook him like a sapling in a hurricane, he respected her feelings.
"Night, Eva."
"Good night, Jake."
He walked out, not bothering to shut the door.
Somehow he couldn't. It was too final.
"Hey," she whispered from the doorway.
Jake turned. "Yeah?"
"Tonight was hard after what happened, you know? But it will get better. We're good, okay?"
He glanced back at Dutch and Hank, who were deep in conversation. "Sure."
She shut the door softly, like an apology.
