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"I'm not going after the pick of the litter, if that's what you're implying," Clint said. "I find you attractive, and you mean something to me."
Eva pressed her lips together and kept her eyes trained on a small blond boy crying for some cotton candy. She had no words for this situation. She'd suspected Clint might have been moving toward this and now that he admitted having feelings for her, she wasn't prepared. At all.
"I'm not asking you to marry me. Just go on a date."
Eva swallowed hard, her thoughts running into each other. Should she say yes? Fake stomach cramps? Stall?
Thing was she didn't want to hurt Clint. The man had been through so much- the accident, painful physical therapy, the death of his mother, the coldness of his father. He deserved someone who made him happy, and this was a huge step for him.
But she didn't feel the same way.
"I'm not sure I can do that," she said, sinking onto the picnic table bench, not quite ready to meet his eyes. "You mean a lot to me, but I've never felt the slightest romantic interest. I wish I did. You're a gorgeous guy with such a big heart, but I can't make a puzzle piece fit where it doesn't belong.”
"I'm not asking you to feel anything yet. Just give us a chance to see if it's something that could work."
"I don't think we should.”
"Why not?"
Because I'm in love with your best friend.
She didn't say that, of course, but she thought it. She felt it. As flawed as Jake was, as selfish, hard headed, and egotistical as Jake was, she loved him.
Her love was an albatross around her neck. "Because there's nothing there on my side... except for sincere friendship."
There. She'd said it.
"But friendship can change, can't it?"
And that was the question she'd been pondering for weeks. Could it truly change? Sex was one thing. Love quite another. "I don't know, Clint. But right now my life is in flux. I don't know what will happen with Charlie or when Claren will be able to care for him again."
"But you've been dating Jamison."
"Something I'm putting the brakes on. My focus right now is on Charlie."
"So you won't even try?" Clint asked.
Eva shook her head. "I don't think it's a good idea. You can't plan out these things. That's what you're doing."
"No, I'm not, but if that gives you comfort for turning me down…” He hit a button on his chair and started rolling forward.
"Clint, don't be that way. You hit me with this out of the blue."
The man didn't stop or even acknowledge her words.
"Clint," she said again.
He stopped, his body facing away from her. "I get it. I'm not a whole man and- "
"Oh, my God. I've never treated you that way. Don't you dare accuse me of that. This has nothing to do with your disability. You know it."
He shrugged his shoulders. "You have no other good reason."
"Other than I don't want to? Would you rather me make up feelings? We're friends, and friends don't lie to one another. They also don't put each other in uncomfortable positions. That's what you're doing to me."
"By wanting to love you, Eva?" His voice quivered slightly, making her feel like dog crap. Her belly ached, and her throat felt raspy with unshed tears.
"Oh, God, Clint," Eva said,the tears finally coming. She brushed them from her cheeks, incredulous that their fun Saturday afternoon adventure had turned into this. She'd hurt Clint, a man who'd suffered too much hurt in his life, and that made her feel...well, just horrible. "I'm sorry. So, so sorry. I can't do this right now. It's not the right time."
