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''About how Eva deserves better and yada, yada, yada."
Dan leaned against his desk, folding his hands so they rested against his rounded stomach. "How could Eva ever get better than you?"
"Oh, come on, Dad. I know what everyone says about me."
''And that's what you think you are?" His father shook his head. "I don't know what's going on between you and Eva, but I hope it's something good. Matt may have had different words for you, and I can see him warning you away from her. She's a good person, and no one wants to see her hurt."
A warning lay in his father's words. One thing everyone agreed upon was that Eva wasn't the kind of girl to mess around with. Serious intentions only.
"Do you think I'm..." Jake started and then tapered off. How could he ask his father such a thing?
Do you think I'm good enough for her?
'Cause that was what he'd been wondering for the past few days... it was the reason he'd tagged along to the festival... the reason he couldn't seem to stay away from her. He wanted her for more than a tangle in his sheets. When she'd implied that he'd only stick around for a few weeks, maybe a month or two, he'd started wondering why he'd never expected more from a woman than a good time. Wasn't as if he'd been raised to avoid commitment. On the contrary; Dan and Fancy were perfect role models for what happily-ever-after looked like. So why had he spent the past ten years or so running from anything that looked like forever? Was he that broken by his past?
"Do I think what?" His father interrupted Jake's thoughts.
"Nothing. I get that Eva's not a girl to be messed with. She's pretty dang special, and I'd never want to be the guy who hurt her."
"I know all that, but we're not talking about hurting Eva. We're talking about you. About your stakes."
"I don't know how to feel, Dad. I never planned on Eva happening to me."
"So are you asking me if Eva could be 'the one'?" his father asked, his eyes growing serious.
"No."
His father sighed.
"Yes," Jake admitted.
"Oh, Jakey. Do you think you don't deserve love? Is that what this is?"
"No." Jake shook his head. And then he felt some thing collapse inside him. "I don't know. I never wanted anyone like Eva. I mean, not that the girls I've dated haven't been nice. It's just Eva... well, I already love her. You know? She's been one of my best friends for the past few years, and I don't want to lose that."
Exactly the same reason Eva had given when she refused to go on a date with him. He got that. He didn't want to lose her, either, which was why he'd backed off. "Both Eva and I agree that we'd rather repress these feelings and keep our friendship. It's safer that way, and no one gets hurt."
His father cocked his head. "Why, that's quite reasonable, Jake. Hmm."
What did that mean?
Of course he knew. Jake wasn't ever reasonable. He didn't overthink anything. He and Abigail were polar opposites. Or at least they had been. His sister examined every inch of ground between her and her landing point. Jake leaped without looking.
"Yeah. Maybe I'm growing up finally." He cracked a self deprecating smile.
His father tilted his head. "Maybe so, but when it comes to love-or the prospect of love- I'm not sure anyone should ever be reasonable."
"But it's irresponsible to take a chance. I couldn't bear my life if Eva hated me. Thing is, she's just part... of me." Jake sat up, his mind tripping on the words he'd uttered.
Eva was already a part of him. Sorta the same way his mother was part of his father.
She was the person he couldn't wait to tell good news. She was the person who always had a kind word when his world fell apart. She was his sounding board, his confidante, his cheerleader, and his conscience.
His father gave him that smile-the one that said, "Yes, I know I'm wise. You're welcome."
"You think I'm in love with Eva?" Jake asked, spreading his hands out to rest on his spread knees.
"I can't answer that, son. And I'm not telling you how to live your life. I'm merely suggesting you stop defining yourself by others' opinions. You're more than what you perceive yourself to be. Honky-tonks, loose women, and whiskey have kept you company far too long. Maybe you need to look for something more. And maybe Eva is part of that more."
