AllFreeNovel
Share Us
~ ~ ~
“Thanks for coming over for dinner tonight.” Jacob smiled at Hannah and raised his glass. “I’m glad you’re settling back in.”
“Me too. I’m glad I’ll be here for the holidays.”
Jacob nodded. “I heard from Xander today. He said he might be on leave. If he is, he’s going to come, too.”
“Wow! That’ll be the first time we’ve all been home for Christmas.”
“It will.” Jacob sighed. They rarely spoke about their parents. It’d been eight years since they passed. He met Hannah’s gaze. “When I was younger, I used to love Christmas. I used to imagine that we’d all come home every year. That we’d all get married and have kids and Mom and Dad would be so happy with grandkids and …” He gave her a sad smile. “I even used to worry about who we’d get to take the family photo – because you needed to be in it, not taking it. I wanted to have all of us – three generations.” He let out a sad laugh. “I’d even written a couple of dogs into my fairytale Christmases.” He took a sip of Cognac. “But life had other plans. Mom and Dad are gone. Not one of the three of us is able to make a relationship last longer than a couple months, let alone find someone we want to marry and have kids with. I can’t even bring myself to commit to a dog.”
Hannah went and sat on the arm of his chair and put her arm around his shoulders. “Aww, Jacob. It makes me sad, too. That’s why I don’t like to be here for the holidays. But maybe this is the year that we change things. I’m here, maybe Xander really will come home, too. And who knows, maybe we’ll meet people who we want to be with. You’re right about how things have been up till now. But I’m not writing myself off as an old spinster yet. I still hope that I’ll meet someone I want to marry and have kids with.”
He leaned against her and smiled. “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get all maudlin on you. It’s just … I don’t know … the holidays.”
“Well, we’re going to make them fun this year, okay?”
“Okay.” He rolled his eyes. “And I really have to come to the tree lighting thing?”
She laughed. “You do. You might even enjoy yourself.”
“I doubt that.”
“Well, you won’t enjoy it with that attitude. You need to loosen up a bit.”
“Probably, but I’m not sure I know how anymore.”
“Aww. You should hang out with me. Do you ever see any of our old friends? I forgot to tell you that Molly said to say hi.”
He smiled. “I like Molly. I was happy to hear that she and Marcos got back together.”
“You should come out with everyone. Molly and Marcos are happy, and they have baby Luca now. Cameron and Chelsea’s partners are awesome, too. Antonio’s still just as much fun, and his wife’s lovely. I’ve invited them all to the tree lighting.”
“You have?”
“Yes!” Her smile faded. “Are you bringing anyone?”
Jacob frowned. “No.”
She raised her eyebrows. She’d been hoping that he wouldn’t bring the woman he’d been dating recently. Hannah had only met her a couple of times, but she wasn’t someone she could see herself ever being friends with – or someone who’d enjoy herself at a tree lighting.
He made a face. “She didn’t want to come.”
“Good!” Her hand came up to cover her mouth as soon as the word was out. “Sorry! Thoughts slipping out of my mouth again.”
To her relief, he laughed. “It’s okay. I was relieved when she didn’t want to come. In fact, I used it as the excuse I needed to call things off.”
Hannah waited for him to continue.
“Isn’t it normal to say you’re sorry when someone tells you they just ended a relationship?”
“Only if you’re being polite or you’re sorry that they’re feeling bad. I won’t do fake politeness with you, and I don’t think that you feel bad in the least – do you?”
“No.” He blew out a sigh. “I almost wish I did. I wish I felt something – anything. But I don’t.” He took another sip of his Cognac and looked up at her. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m capable of feeling anything anymore. I shut down after Mom and Dad died. I didn’t allow myself to feel. I needed to step up and run the estate and run the company and … there was no time, no room for feelings. Now …”
“Now, things are more settled, and you should take the time and the space for yourself. But Jacob, I have to say it, I don’t think you’ll ever have feelings for the kind of women you date.”
He laughed. “I know that. I think that’s why I’ve dated them. I didn’t have to feel anything. I’ve had … convenient arrangements, rather than relationships.”
