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She went and stood in the doorway to the living room where they’d taken up their usual spots in front of the TV.
Her mom smiled and patted the space on the sofa beside her. “Want to come and watch a movie with me?”
“Withus,” her dad added from his recliner.
Becca exchanged a smile with her mom. They both knew that he’d be asleep within fifteen minutes, tops.
“Do either of you want anything before I come and sit down? Want me to bring you a beer, Dad? Cup of tea, Mom?”
They both shook their heads, and Becca went and sat beside her mom on the sofa. It was like a time warp – Friday night sitting in front of the TV with her folks. Except she couldn’t remember ever being the only one here with them. She was looking forward to Christmas day when the whole family would be here, and the house would be filled with laughter and chatter – and good-natured arguments, no doubt.
As she stared, mostly unseeing at the TV, her mind drifted – as it so often did – to Jacob. It made her cringe to think about the way she’d reacted – the way she’d asked him to take her home, the way she’d thought – even if only until she came to her senses – that he’d expected her to sleep with him and that everyone else at his house knew it.
She pressed both fists to her forehead and shook her head. What an idiot! He’d been a really good guy about it afterward, too. The trouble was, he’d said that he’d call her, and he hadn’t. She shouldn’t be surprised. Who could blame him if he’d had second thoughts? Every time she replayed that evening in her head, she could see that he’d been nothing but a gentleman – and she’d been an idiot.
She checked her phone all the time, hoping that there might be a text from him, but so far there’d been nothing. Well, he’d sent her that message when she gave him her number. She smiled when she remembered it.
Jacob: Sorry about the way tonight worked out.
I WILL do better next time.
She’d read it when she got back to the townhouse that night. After he’d followed her back there to make sure that she arrived safely. No guy had ever done that for her before. He’d watched until she opened her front door and waved at him. He’d waved back, the kind of wave that told her to go inside. When she had, she’d turned the lights on and rushed to the window just in time to see him pull away. He’d waited to see that she was safely inside before he left! He was awesome.
She blew out a sigh and pulled her phone out of the back pocket of her jeans. Still no text from him. She’d probably have to wait a few days now – if she heard from him at all. She didn’t know what kind of plans a man like him would have for the holidays, but she doubted he’d have time to spare to be calling her.
Her mom reached over and touched her arm. “Are you okay, love?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. Glad to be here with you.”
“Not as glad as we are to have you.” Her mom looked over at her dad and winked at Becca when they saw he was already asleep. “We’ve been worried about you.”
“I know, but I wish you wouldn’t.”
“It goes with the territory, Becs. You’ll understand when you have kids of your own.” Her smile faded. “Though, who knows when that will be now.”
“Mom!”
She just laughed. “Sorry, love. I didn’t mean that how it sounded. I thought you and Aiden were going to get married when you went out to California. I was looking forward to you making me a grandma again. I know his mom was, too. I saw her in the grocery store the other week. She said he was coming home for the holidays. Did you know that?”
“I didn’t, no.” Becca shuddered. The last thing she wanted was to run into Aiden while she was home. “I’m sorry to disappoint you on the grandkids. But I can’t say I’m sorry that we broke up.”
“No.” Her mom scowled. “Neither can I. I always wanted him to step up and be more of a man for you, but I thought he was all right. I’d never have dreamed that he’d dump you there all by yourself.”
Becca bristled at that. “He did ask me to go with him. You know what happened. We moved there because he got that job. Once we were on the West Coast, he met some people who worked at a startup in Las Vegas. It was a good move for him, career-wise.” She shrugged. “But I’d started at school by then. I’d gotten to know the kids and the staff. I’d made a commitment, for the school year at least.”
“And he couldn’t wait for you. Are you going to come home when the school year’s done? It can’t be easy for you out there all by yourself. It’s not cheap either – living in California. I talked to Malcolm; he said they’d welcome you back at the school next year – you just need to let him know.”
“I don’t know yet, Mom. You’re right. It’s not easy being in a new place by myself. And if I stay, I’m going to have to get a smaller place. But I’ve just started to make friends. The school is great, and the kids are wonderful.”
Her mom smiled and squeezed her hand. “I know, Becs. We miss you, and I’ll no doubt say that I want you home too often. Your dad will, too, even if he doesn’t say it with words. But you have to do what’s right for you. If you can make a go of it, make a life for yourself, you go for it. If you come back here …” She shrugged. “Too many folks never make it out of Dodge,” she added with a sad laugh.
Becca often wondered what dreams her mom had given up when she married her dad and they settled down here on the farm. She knew that they loved each other, and they seemed to be happy enough. But her mom often said things that sounded like she wished that she’d done more with her life.
“If I stay out there – even if I don’t – you should come visit. Napa’s beautiful, and San Francisco’s not that far away. I’d love to show you around. We could do all the tourist stuff. Maybe even drive up the coast.”
“Yeah, I’d love that. Maybe one day we’ll be able to do it.”
They fell silent again, both of them staring at the TV, but Becca didn’t think her mom was paying it any more attention than she was.
