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“So why did you bring me here?” It came out a shaky whisper.
“I don’t know. I wanted to kiss you. I wanted privacy. But things are moving too fast. We need to slow down, catch a breath.”
I managed to maneuver off the couch, wrapping my arms around my waist as I stood. “Didn’t you hear? I’m a slut. I’ll fuck you anywhere. Bathrooms at parties, up against the wall at abandoned fairgrounds. Just name your place.” I swallowed back the tears.
“Becca.” Evan’s eyes snapped to mine. “Don’t say that shit.”
“Why? It’s what everyone thinks. You said it yourself, for a second you believed it. Might as well live up to peoples’ high expectations of me, right?”
What the hell was wrong with me? I didn’t want to fight with Evan. The truth was, I didn’t know what I wanted. All rational thought left when he was around me, but I didn’t want to do something I’d regret. Something that, if it got out, could make things even harder for me at Credence High. So even though it stung, I couldn’t blame him for cooling things, not really. But the back and forth, the mixed signals, the constant white lies, the shit with Kendall—it was exhausting.
Iwas exhausted.
Evan was up and in front of me, staring at me with such intensity I stepped back.
“Stop.”
“What’s the point? It doesn’t change anything. Kendall is determined to break me, to make my life at Credence unbearable. Everyone has a breaking point, Evan, and mine expired long before I moved here.”
His eyes shuttered, but then he was staring at me again with that look as he wrapped me in his arms. “You have me and Scarlett and Lilly and the guys. You have people, Becca. Don’t let her get to you. You can’t let her get to you.”
You have me.Evan’s words echoed in my mind. I wanted so badly to believe him.But there was still so much hanging over us like dark foreboding clouds. He felt it—I knew he did. It was the reason he resisted.
We both had secrets.
And secrets came hand in hand with lies.
* * *
“Where were you?”Lilly asked.
She had that post-sex glow about her. Jealousy ran through me, only adding to my restlessness.
After stopping things before they went too far, Evan had pressed a chaste kiss to my lips before announcing he had to get back for Eli. He’d only come out to Rogues to check that I was okay. I guess once he had seen with his own eyes that I was fine, that was enough for him, and he left me… again.
It was becoming a pattern with him. And it left a bitter taste in my mouth.
“I already told you. Nowhere. I went to pee and got lost.” I peeked over at Malachi, but he gave nothing away. It was likely someone else had seen Evan. Me and Evan… together, but if they had, no one said a word. And with the way Vin lingered around me like a bad smell, he was definitely none the wiser.
“You should have waited for me, I would have escorted you.” He slung his arm over my shoulder. “It’s not safe to walk the grounds alone.”
“Stop being such a creeper,” Lilly scolded.
“Chill. I’m just saying, if Becca needs a friend, I am more than willing to—”
“Jesus, dude, she is not interested. Can we please move on? Another beer, Becca?” Jay kicked back against the bumper car he and Lilly shared. I shook my head, sliding out from under Vin’s grip. The slight buzz I’d felt earlier had vanished when Evan slipped out of the abandoned office sending me back to my friends.
I still couldn’t believe how I’d acted. How out of control I’d been. But I craved the connection—needed it—so much it hurt. Evan wanted it too. I saw it every time I looked at him. But like a storm on the horizon, I didn’t know whether he would sweep me up in its devastation or shelter me from its ruin.
“Where’s Scarlett?”
“She said something about food,” Vin answered. “That girl can eat.”
“Please tell me she didn’t drive off, aloneandhigh?” Lilly’s eyes widened with alarm.
“She wasn’t that high. Just one smoke.”
“Vin! What if something happens to her?”
