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The word reverberated through my bones, and I stuttered out, “I don’t know what to say, Mom.”
I didn’t.
I hadn’t asked for any of this. Dad had simply done what he thought needed to be done in order to protect his daughter. And Mom had gone along with it. If word got out what really happened that night—the events that led to the night that changed my life—the people I’d grown up with, my friends, would never look at me the same. In our old neighborhood, people loved nothing more than a scandal, but no one wanted to be at the heart of the story. Because in a place like Montecito, reputations could be crushed as quickly as they were earned. This was the better alternative.
Wasn’t it?
“This place is changing you, Becca, and it scares me.” Sadness filled Mom’s voice, and the crack in my chest widened.
“I’m fine, I promise.”
She shook her head in disagreement. “The clothes, your attitude, your new friends—this isn’t you, baby. This isn’t my Becca. All because of a silly acci…” Her voice trailed off, and she dropped her head.
That was just it.
It might have been an accident, but someone had ended up hurt. Because of me. Because of a game that got out of hand and turned nasty. It was my word against the word of a guy lying in the hospital in a coma… and his father. A man who’d seen us together, witnessed the game we had played, and covered for us on more than one occasion.
“I almost killed him, Mom.”
Her eyes snapped to mine, and she gasped. “Don’t say that. Don’t.”
“It’s true. I know it, you know it, and Dad knows it.”
“He deserved it,” she stated coldly, sending a shiver running through me as I tried to fight off the memories pushing at my consciousness.
Maybe he did.
Maybe I could have claimed self-defense. Maybe the cops would have sided with the young girl bruised and in shock. Maybe I could have pleaded the naivety card:he lured me in, he seemed nice, he said I could trust him. But the truth was, I knew exactly what I was getting into when I pursued Kane Larson. Excitement… danger… desire. He was the epitome of a bad boy, and I still went after him, even knowing I was way out of my league.
And it backfired in a way I never saw coming.
I knew what people would say when they found out. So did Dad. It was the reason he covered the whole thing up.
“Mom.” I went to her, wrapping my arm around her waist and dropping my head on her shoulder. “Everything is going to be okay.”
At least it was a lie that could make us both feel better.
Just for a little while.
* * *
Up in my room,I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling. Mom had eventually gone to bed, quiet and withdrawn. I hated seeing her like that. The once radiant and upbeat Melinda Torrence reduced to a blubbering mess and all because of me. But if anyone could pull through, it was Mom. She just needed time to adapt, time to accept that her prim and proper daughter was gone.
She’d been gone for a while.
In a little under a year, I would be away at college, and Mom and Dad would be able to pick up their lives without the consequences of that night hanging over their heads. All I had to do was survive senior year… and make plans for college. It was something I still needed to figure out. Before everything, I had planned to apply to UCLA. But that was then. Now, college seemed like a distant dream.
My cell phone vibrated beside me, and I patted the bed to locate it, butterflies fluttering in my stomach. But when my eyes fell on the screen, the butterflies died and were replaced with nausea. This image was clearer. A close up of me smiling at my friends. They were off-camera. I knew because I remembered the moment it was taken.
Dressed in a crisp white tunic and navy chino shorts, we were going out on my friend Laura’s yacht. Her father had invited a group of us and requested that Kane come along to help. A bleep notified me of an incoming message, and my stomach started to fall away.
Do you think he’d want you if he knew?
CHAPTER25
“You ignored me this morning.”Evan’s voice was low as he pressed up behind me in the lunch line.
“Stealth, remember?” I hissed, trying to shuffle forward and put some distance between us, to calm the need building in me.
