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I hang up the phone and take a deep breath. She’s right, as ever. I’m better off dealing with this now rather than letting it linger and fester in the back of my mind. Rip the bandaid off, don’t tease it for hours. Pull the cork out of the bottle, don’t tilt and squeeze all day long.
It’s an hour before he comes back. The sun’s set and the temperature has dropped in the dark.
When he finally returns, I’m in the kitchen, rummaging through the cupboards. I’ve dressed in one of a dozen light dresses he’s brought along for me. I’m humming to myself, the radio playing music as I start to butter a couple of slices of bread.
“I’m sorry,” he says from the doorway behind me, his voice making me jump.
I spin around to face him. He’s back in his suit, like a piece of armor that protects him. He looks his old self. All the emotion has gone from his face. I’m looking at a robot.
“I heard you were upset,” he continues, walking into the kitchen, sitting on the nearest stool and staring at me with those intense eyes of his.
“Heard it where? Is this place bugged?”
“Rocky gave me a call. Said Cathy had spoken to him. It wasn’t my intention to upset you.”
“What was your intention?”
He takes a deep breath. “I’m feeling things for you that I’ve not felt for anyone before. I am not used to it. This was supposed to be all about business but I got to thinking that maybe it’s more complicated than that.”
“If this is your way of saying you want it to end, get to the point.”
“That’s the opposite of what I’m trying to say. I want to continue but I’m thinking we shouldn’t.”
“There it is. Fucked me and done with me, is that it?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that if we get too close you’re likely to get hurt.”
“How can you possibly know that?”
“Because that’s what happens when people get close. They lash out at each other. They hurt each other. It never ends well. I’ve kept every woman I’ve ever dominated at arm’s length for good reason, for their protection as much as mine.”
“Do I get a say in this?”
“My first girlfriend, back when I was sixteen. I fell head over heels in love with her but I wasn’t in love with her. I was in love with the image of her. We talked about marriage, about kids. She told me she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me but it was all a lie.
“The real her was fucking around behind my back, ran off with my best friend. Took all the cash she could find in my room, took my car. Never heard from her again. She broke my heart, Ophelia. After that, I promised I’d never let myself get close to someone again. I dominate to keep women at a distance. I don’t want anyone getting close.”
He takes another deep breath, getting to his feet and walking toward me. “But you? You’re different. There’s something about you, Ophelia. It’s something I can’t put my finger on but it does things to me. You do things to me.
“For the first time in my life, I want to be a better person. I want to try again. I can imagine being properly married, being a husband, even having children. I’m not going to lie, that scares me. I’ve never wanted kids, never wanted a family. But with you? I can see it happening like it already has.”
He takes my hands in his, squeezing them gently. “I should have told you.”
“Yes, you should.”
“I shouldn’t have stormed off like that.”
“No, you shouldn’t.”
“But you broke the rules.” He tucks a stray lock of hair behind my ear, kissing my cheek lightly a moment later. “I can’t have you disobeying my rules.”
“I guess not. Thank you for being honest with me, Vincenzo. That’s all I ever want you to be. Don’t lie to me. I don’t like liars.”
“Understood. Now we need to talk about discipline. I told you to stay put and you didn’t. I think it’s time I turn that ass of yours red.”
