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33
ANYA
Shakenby Tatyanna's sudden departure, I found myself standing all alone in the hall, with no more answers than I had before. Everyone in the sanctuary seemed safe and warm, at least for the time being. Upstairs, the kitchen was running like a well-oiled machine. And where did that leave me?
Strangely, I felt the weight of being needed lift from my shoulders. But it wasn't the uplifting, relaxing feeling I had always expected. It wasn't the feeling of a mother seeing her child off into the world, knowing she’d succeeded. Or the feeling of reaching a life goal and knowing that all would be well after that. It was a sinking feeling, like the cloud I'd been riding on had suddenly dissipated from under my feet and now I was alone.
Slowly, I emerged from the drowning feeling that threatened to pull me under and let out a sigh. I made my way back up to the open air and into the palace. By now, the smells from the kitchen had filled the halls, and it almost felt familiar again.
When I reached the library, I found Mihiri sleeping peacefully right where I'd left her. Ember was curled up next to Kiango, her head on his chest and her eyes closed. I could hear her soft snoring mingling with his unsteady breaths and see that she had been crying. I couldn't blame her. He was still pale, even with his armor half-exposed.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped over Kiango's legs and knelt next to Ember to examine the bloody spot on the floor between them. I didn't want to wake her, but I needed to know if the bleeding had been quelled. Gently, I shook her shoulder, whispering her name until she opened her eyes and looked up at me in a daze.
"What-?" she started to sit up.
"Shh. Stay still," I cooed. "I just need to check his wound."
She nodded, wriggling her bottom half away from her lover so I could take a look. Delicately, I reached past her and rolled him up just enough to examine his back. Already I could see that most of the blood had dried up and there was no new seepage coming through his bandages. That was a good sign, even if he hadn't yet woken. As long as his lungs kept taking in air and pushing it back out, I had faith that he would recover.
When I moved away from him, Ember gave me a questioning look, her dark eyes still full of worry.
"He'll be okay," I assured her. "He knows you're there."
With a soft smile, she scooted close to him again. Watching them together this way only reminded me of how little I was needed here, too.
Mihiri still needed me. And judging by the way Ember shivered, even with Kiango's body heat at her disposal, I realized there was more I could do.
Racing to Kiango's room, I made a mental list of all the things I needed to grab. Most importantly, I needed pillows and blankets, so my charges would be comfortable. Then, maybe some clean robes for them to change into once they were properly cleaned up.
I rushed to the bed and tugged the covers up, bundling them around the pillows and tying a neat knot. That would be easy to carry. But it was only enough for Kiango and Ember. Remembering the trainee's room attached to Kiango's personal chamber, I went in search of an extra blanket or two.
The room was empty. The bed had already been stripped. There was not a single trace of Silas left in the room. With slow steps, I crossed the threshold, looking around, hoping to find something he had forgotten. The emptiness of the tight space closed in on me. I was trapped here with his gone-ness.
But it didn't make sense. Where had he gone? Why had he taken the bedding with him?
