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7
SILAS
"What are you doing?"she hissed.
"I was just... uh... You're okay?"
"Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be okay? You think the broom might have come alive and eaten me?" With a rather forceful shove of her hands into my chest, she freed herself and straightened up indignantly. "Come on. We're out of time."
Startled and confused, I took one last look around the room, frowning and rubbing at my face as I tried to piece together the sudden shift in her mood. Why had I been so convinced that she was in danger? Why had I felt the need to come looking for her? And why did she look so flustered? Under her withering glare I became self-conscious about my body’s natural instinct to stop her from making a sound. I hadn’t been thinking. I’d only been reacting, desperate to save her from some unknown danger.
"Sorry," I mumbled. "I finished the doors, but when I came in, I didn't see you. I was...worried."
She gave me a look that said she thought I was being ridiculous, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't settle my mind. For one thing, Kiango's warning to keep an eye on things was still echoing loudly in my memory. I still didn't know exactly what I was supposed to be watching for, but I couldn't ignore my instincts. I had to be prepared to follow her, wherever that led. And right now, that led out of the sanctuary and up the broad steps to the palace's main hall.
Silently, I followed behind her, distracted by the myriad questions that swam through my mind. Whatever she was doing back in that dark corner, I was sure she wasn't wasting time. I had only known the woman for a few days, and I already knew that wasn't her style. But whatever she was doing, she did not want to share with me.
Soon, even those questions lost my interest, as I let my eyes wander to the subtle sway of her hips as she marched ahead of me purposefully, and I revisited the feeling of her body pressed up against mine.
I was glad she was too preoccupied to do much talking, because I was busy trying to keep the shameful thoughts in my head from reaching my groin.
And then there was the pink glow of her cheeks when she realized it was me holding her up against that wall. I could have lowered my lips to hers, right then, and taken her there in that very sanctuary, upon the holy dais. But I knew better. We could not risk being thrown out of the palace altogether, and I feared what Kiango would say if word got back to him about such an impropriety.
I needed to stay focused. Kiango had entrusted me with keeping her and Ember safe, and I meant to show him that I was worthy of that trust. Moreover, I wanted to get back to the training ring as early as possible, and that meant I couldn't allow myself any further distractions.
To my surprise, she led me up and out into the bright courtyard, still only half-lit by the early morning sun.
"What are we doing?"
"Training," she said sharply.
"What about the rest of the chores?"
"I'll do them later. Right now, we have bigger problems."
At that, I hurried to catch up to her, snagging the sleeve of her robe and pulling her to an abrupt stop facing me.
"Are you going to tell me what's going on or not? I can't keep you safe if you won't tell me."
The words were barely out of my mouth before her face turned scornful and she scoffed.
"I'm the least of your worries. There are bad things coming, and you need to practice. You might have to protect all of Ke'Thal soon, not just me."
She tugged her sleeve free of my grip and resumed her march over to the training ring, leaving me to gape after her. I broke into a trot and came up alongside her just as she reached the edge of the ring and set her rags and broom against the bench. She stood there for a long moment, looking out across the open space, lost in her own thoughts, before she blinked and came back to me.
As I stood beside her, I felt a tightness in my chest. All my life, I'd been told that this was what I was made to do, and I had done my part to meet expectations. But now, stepping into that ring was the very last thing I wanted. The harder I tried to become a Guardian, the more I felt like I was giving up my whole life to a god I wasn't sure I liked.
"Okay, let me see it. Just like yesterday."
I hesitated and she made a disapproving noise in her throat, tipping her head toward the ring to get me moving. With every step toward the center of the ring, my heart pounded harder in my chest, imagining myself standing between Ke'Thal and an impending storm. The idea of it nearly left me breathless as I thought of all the lives that would be destroyed if I failed.
I dropped to my knees abruptly in the center of the ring and took two steadying breaths, lifting my arms until I felt my shoulders strain with the weight of all that was riding on my success. Tipping my head back, I stared up into the orange-hued sky and whispered a personal prayer to Re'Utu before I began. Then, I closed my eyes and uttered the very first words of the chant, opening myself to His resonance and inviting His energies into me.
This time, I found Re'Utu's stray energy with frightening speed. The tendrils of His will were stronger than before, and as soon as I made contact, I was filled with a violent sensation, as if the energy was trying to break me apart, surging into me and burrowing deep.
Remotely, I was aware of losing my place in the prayer, falling silent as I fought to maintain control, but I could not. In a panic, I released my grip and let the energy dissipate before it overwhelmed me completely.
Snapping back into my body, I looked around wildly, and found Anya staring at me with wide-eyed concern. As I sucked in a deep breath, she rushed forward to catch me, her arms sliding under mine to hold me upright as I quivered in the aftermath of the loss.
