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“If that is what you want.”
He said it as a statement, but I could hear the question beneath the words. I swallowed, trying not to think about it. Two things could be true at once. I could believe there was something good and worthy of love within him, and still know that my place was elsewhere. I did not belong here on the Vaclanheim, this encounter notwithstanding.
Eventually, I peeled myself off of Malik’s chest and rolled to his side. I remained there a long time, curled up beside him, watching him. He tucked his arms behind his head and stared up at the ceiling silently.
“We could really use your help, you know.”
Malik grunted, eyeing me sideways without adjusting his position.
“I am not in search of another job,” he remarked dryly.
I sat up, sighing. “It’s not like that, Malik. You wouldn’t have to leave this place behind. But you know things about the Patrol that we don’t. Your people… the Brotherhood… you have information that could help us save more women. Think about it. I’m not asking you to run in there and save them all yourself. But with your help we could cut them off. We could keep them from hurting anyone else. If you won’t do it for me, would you do it for Mia?”
He made a face at that. He snarled angrily, but anger was replaced with defeat, and finally sadness. When he settled again, he was merely glaring at me.
“Do not use her against me,” he growled.
I leaned up, planting my hands on his chest and letting my face hover directly above his, my hair falling around us like a veil.
“Do the right thing, then.”
He narrowed his eyes at me, but I did not back down. This was not a negotiation. I would not beg, either. But I could not settle for his refusal. He could help, and we both knew it.
“Tomorrow I am going to another Sovann’ash outpost. It will be dangerous.”
I smirked. “Is that an invitation?”
He shrugged, looking away. “We could be shot down or captured.”
“You will not talk me out of going,” I said, a self-satisfied smile coming to my face as I sat back on my heels.
“If we make it out alive, I will take you to your friends.”
“Thank you.”
I laid back down at his side, stretching out along his body and relishing his warmth. Eventually, he rolled onto his side and curled himself around me, that strange mechanical hand of his draping over my belly.
In the back of my mind, I wondered what Torgus would say. I should have gone back. I hadn’t planned on staying. I hadn’t planned on anything at all, if I was being honest, but now that I was here, I couldn’t seem to peel myself away. I didn’t want to, anyway. For once, I could understand how easy it would be to fall in love and never look back. If only we weren’t on the Vaclanheim, that could be us, too.
12
MALIK
“Malik?”Cosma wiped the sleep from her eyes and stared up at me as I shook her gently awake.
I was already in my fatigues, having risen early to prepare for my mission. I would have waken her sooner, but there was something angelic about the way she lay sprawled across my bunk. I did not want to ruin it until I absolutely had to.
“Morning,” I said, giving her a soft smile.
She sat up, looking around the room with momentary confusion before the memory of what we’d done seemed to alight in her mind and she pulled herself up into a ball, wrapping my blanket around her.
“What time is it?”
“Time to get ready. We need to be on our way if we’re going to reach our target on time.”
She didn’t move immediately, and I waited for her to register what I’d said. Through the haze of her drowsiness, it seemed to seep in and she shook herself awake.
“Give me a few minutes. I need to get cleaned up.”
