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“Yeah. Thomas and Tiffany. She is all he ever talks about and you’re all I ever talk about. We help each other through the mess you both left us in. If this is how you love someone, Royce. I want no part in it. Goodbye.”
Party for One
Genesis
Twohoursafterhangingup on Royce, I’m still raging. Burning up mad. How could Royce not come to me with his suspicions? He didn’t because… Damn it!
Will I ever be able to spend one minute when I’m not fixated on him? That seems to be all I’ve been doing for the past three weeks. Hell, longer than that. Two years plus, at least.
After Matt, I should be the guru of forgetting about toxic men, but I’m just like most of the female population after a breakup.
I bet there is another woman who has on fuzzy pajamas, their knees pulled up to their chin and their arms clasped around them, wondering just like me when the pain will go away.
Matt had dipped my heart into dry ice when he left me at the altar. Royce has dropped kicked and shattered the organ into a million pieces.
I hurt because I allowed myself to be eaten from the outside in. Royce had given me what I longed for, and it was good while it lasted. Too damn good, in fact. But I told myself that if I caught feelings for him, it would be on me.
And it is. Royce warned me not to fall for him. I didn’t listen. Just like with Matt, I ignored the signs, thinking things would get better even as the ship, already full of holes, neared treacherous water.
My screen lights up again. This is the seventh time he’s called. You think by the third time or even the fifth he would get the message.
I will get over him and when I do…
I focus my mind on whatIwant.
A man that makes me smile. A man who I will strive to protect from the dangers of the world even as he protects me. A man who I admire because of his strength, his intelligence, and how good he makes me feel about myself and the world around me.
In short: another Royce.
Thanks, mind. You are so not helping.
I head into the kitchen, leaving my phone on the bed. No one that I want to communicate with is going to call me, anyway.
Seth left for Chicago this morning, Natalie is on a date with BB, my parents are busy on the farm, and Thomas… well, I don’t want to talk to him either. He’s too much of a reminder of what I lost.
I open the fridge and take out a bottle of Riesling. After taking a wine glass from the cupboard, I uncork the bottle, resisting the temptation to take a swig. Instead, I wait until I sit on the couch to do so, wiping away an errant dribble with the pads of my fingers.
I pour a healthy glass, and start sipping as I power up my laptop and turn on the TV. I switch it from channel to channel while I randomly surf my news app.
A few minutes later, a “recommended article for you” pops up. An article about Royce.Why didn’t I wipe the damn cookies from my computer?
I sigh, already knowing that I will read it. Why not? I’m always up for a round of self-flagellation.
I click the bait thumbnail to enlarge the picture. Below the headline ofBillionaire and the Beauty, Royce and Tiffany have matching million-dollar smiles. He’s in a black suit. His eyes, which are staring into the camera, are a light greenish brown, like a mythical forest in an unknown land. His kissable lips stretch over teeth that have bitten and ravaged me more times than I could count.
Pain, wider than an ocean cavern and just as deep, hollows out my heart when I think of how I had let down my guard and trusted him.
My fault. My fault entirely. I knew better, yet I carried on hoping. I won’tevermake that mistake for the third time.
The next time I’m ready to try my luck at love, I’ll have age spots on my skin and iron gray hair.
I tear my eyes away from Royce and direct them to the side-by-side pic of Tiffany. Taken outside a trendy restaurant, she’s in a rich girl outfit of what looks like a Hermès dress and Gucci sunglasses.
Tiffany Primrose is indeed pretty. She is indeed petite. And she looks like she can hold her own,in and outof high society.
Nothing like me whose idea of dressing up is spritzing on body spray. Forced fiancée or not, Royce needs a Tiffany in his life, not some girl from the trailer park who likes comfy clothes and who has, according to Matt’s mother, “a stupid hobby”.
Don’t do this to yourself.
