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I gave him a serious look. “Genny beat him in front of his family. You grow balls after something like that. And you can’t be sure he doesn’t have money. He moved his business into Harlow, and only got caught because he sent his boys after the wrong Cardinal. Isn’t it possible he could’ve set up shop in another borough? Like the one the Merchants haven’t taken over.”
“Rockchapel,” Ryker, Bane, and Sienna said.
“Lochlan Grant is where we start. At the very least, Thatcher needs to talk to him about the friend who gave him explosives. Two Hunts and two bombs? Now that isn’t a coincidence.”
Pushing his plate aside, Ryker dropped his makeshift ice pack on the table. “Vito’s information better be worth something, because Sunny’s vacation is over. Tell his ass to show up at the arcade tomorrow—better yet, I’ll tell him.” Ryker got to his feet.
“Wait,” I said. “Sunny can’t reveal himself until we’re sure Grant is a part of this and he gives up his bald pal. If it’s not Grant, I’ll get more names out of Vito. I’ll make him give me info on his crew. He seems to think they’re a threat to the Merchants.”
“If they’re not, they will be. Blaine, you just handed the enemy seven million fucking dollars. He could hire two dozen hit men with that kind of money. More than enough for each member of the family. Sunny’s getting his ass back to work, because no matter what, I’m stealing those diamonds back tomorrow before he has time to fence them. Vito will think you double-crossed him and you won’t get another word out of him.”
“But—”
“Am I wrong, Bane?” he demanded.
Bane gazed at me and shook his head. “He’s not wrong, Kenzie. We have to get those diamonds back. As it is, I had three of my men follow him after he left Cooper’s. He doesn’t get to keep his prize.”
“Why did you let me give it to him, then? Why did Sunny?”
He smiled crookedly. “Don’t you know? Sunny risked it because Vito chose a simple, nonviolent test to prove yourself. He could’ve asked you to bring him Genny’s head in a bag or deliver a special package to the Fairfield. We weren’t going to risk you and Sienna getting hurt, or asked to do something you couldn’t.”
My chest cracked open. “Oh.” They chanced their enemy becoming too powerful to stop, to protect me.
Sienna got up too. She put her arm around me, squeezing me tight as we trudged home. “Let’s hope Grant is the guy we’re looking for. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to hang up my badass double life.”
Bane drove us to the Fairfield, dropping Ryker off at a nice-looking apartment building on the way.
I was bone-tired. The only thing on my mind was a shower, hot tea, and snuggling with Laurel. The elevator pushed us out on Sunny’s floor. Bane stopped me stepping off with Sienna.
“Kenzie, can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Sure.” I reached for him as the doors closed.
Bane slid out of reach. “Wait.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Kenzie, I...”
My smile melted seeing the expression on his face. “Bane, don’t do this,” I whispered.
“I already did it. I swore I wouldn’t fall for anyone. I won’t saddle a woman I love with this life.”
“You’re not saddling me with anything. Bane, why can’t you see that this isn’t a life you force on anyone, it’s one they choose. They choose to be with you. I choose to be with you knowing what you do and how dangerous it is. Living with you, marrying you, having kids with you. It’s my choice. If I’m willing to risk the future, why won’t you?”
“Because you don’t understand the risk!” he burst out. “A couple weeks playing a role doesn’t prepare you for what this life is like. If Vito asked you to prove yourself through blood, could you do it? Innocent blood, of course not, but it doesn’t mean he gets to walk free. It doesn’t mean blood doesn’t get spilled.
“Could you torture him to find the bomber that almost killed Tricky? Can you break bones to maintain fear? Can you demand half the contents in a man’s safe while he’s on his knees begging and pleading that he needs the money for his family? Can you do what it takes to be the monster that monsters are afraid of?
“Can you love a man that does?”
“Bane, that’s not you,” I forced past the lump in my throat. “You’re not a monster. You—”
“And that you believe that”—he gently cupped my face—“is all the answer I need. I am a monster, Kenzie. Never tried to be anything else. Never wanted to be. You’re searching for goodness in me because that’s all there is in you.
“One day, you’ll come face-to-face with the real me, and that goodness won’t bear it. It’ll torture you—torn between right and wrong—until you either hate me or push your morals so far down you won’t be you anymore. I can’t stand those choices, so I’m making one. You and I will not happen, Kenzie.”
