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Lex picked me up an hour outside of town. I had blisters on my feet for days after that.
Felt guilty as hell.
Still do.
“You’re quiet,” August says.
“Yep.”
I feel him shift beneath me, and then his hands splay across my back, and he slowly, tenderly massages up my spine. And damn him, I melt a little inside because no one ever touches me like this, like they care. My mom never did, my dad sure as fuck doesn’t, and Lex keeps me at arm’s length unless he wants to fuck. And even then, it’s just fast, cold, and methodical. But it’s been a long while since we’ve done anything like that. I haven’t been available.
Because of this right here.
I’ve been ridiculously fixated on my stepbrother for the past year.
I knew it would be like this with him. Hot and yet, so fucking sweet.
“You can talk to me,” he says.
“No thanks. I think it’s best to keep it inside if I can,” I mumble, my lips brushing against that vein in his neck.
I understand now why Edward was so obsessed with Bella. I’d absolutely hover creepily over August’s bed, watching him sleep, because he smells like a snack.
“I don’t blame you…for punching me. I get it now, I think.”
I sigh into him. “Okay.”
We lie in silence and then August says, “Will you tell me about your siblings? I never knew you had any until today.”
“Yeah, well, I try not to bring them up because it’s depressing, but I’ll tell you if you insist on knowing.” I pause and then say, “I have four of them. Three sisters and a brother. We all have different dads.”
“Where are they?” he asks, his hands still gently massaging the muscles of my back and I bite back a satisfied moan.
“Two are with their biological dads, and the other two are in the system. Last I heard, my mom was working on getting custody of the two youngest.”
“How is she gonna manage that?” August asks.
“The system always favors the bio parents,” I tell him. “They shouldn’t in many cases, but they do. So, my mom is going through a program right now, trying to get them back. The social worker says she’s sober. I’d have to see it to believe it, though. And if she really is, I’m doubtful she’ll stay sober for long. She never could manage it when she had me.”
August is silent for a bit and then says, “I hope she doesn’t get them.”
“God, I know. Me too. The foster parents are actually nice. They all deserve a chance with a stable home, you know?”
“Yeah.”
I let my eyes close for a minute and just inhale him. If I could, I’d roll him up and smoke him. Just get high off him, day in and day out.
“Amber, Lexi, Ruthie, and Jax. Those are their names.”
“I like those names.”
“You like my name?” I can’t help but ask, feeling so fucking tired now that I’ve closed my eyes, but I need to hear it. Because maybe if he likes my name, he likes me too.
“Yeah, Em. I do.”
I sigh and then let myself do something reckless.
Because maybe August can keep me safe in my dreams too.
