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And when I’d dropped him off at Lex’s apartment, Emery didn’t even look at me to say goodbye. He just grabbed his duffel bag and disappeared inside.
Then my mind flashes to three days ago and my breath catches in my throat. I’d happened to spot Emery in a coffee shop across town after class and he was with a tall, lanky man with silver hair. The guy was attractive in an unconventional way, tattoos lining his arms and snaking up his neck and piercings on his face. I hated how helpless I felt, just watching the two of them lean into each other, the way Emery smiled up at him. The guy could have been Lex, but what if it wasn’t? I had no way of knowing. And even so, I knew he had a history with Lex; they could be sleeping together again. Then Emery turned my way and when his eyes snagged on mine, his radiant smile fell into a frown.
I couldn’t stick around to watch him content and happy with another guy, when I’d been miserable this whole fucking time––missing him.
So, I’d abandoned my drink and just walked out.
I haven’t seen or heard from him since.
It’s blatantly obvious that he’s moved on, or at least trying to, so I need to try too. I need to let this go. I keep telling myself that it’s better this way, even though it doesn’t feel like it.
Magnus eyes me and then asks, “But you’ll have to see him eventually, right? You can’t avoid himforever. He’s your family.”
Fuck, if I could, I would. Especially after seeing him with someone else. This is why I should have never let this happen in the first place. I’m going to be miserable watching him with someone that’snot me. Imagine if he invites silver hair guy to Christmas or my birthday. I don’t know if I could stand that.
“Yeah, but if enough time has passed…it’ll be fine,” I lie. “We’ll manage. It was stupid. It was a mistake. It won’t happen again.”
Magnus doesn’t look convinced because I can’t even seem to convince myself. He’s about to open his mouth and tell me so, when the lock clicks and Sem appears in the doorway. He almost takes up the entire thing from his sheer size. He sets his keys down and makes a beeline right to Magnus, lifting him up and crushing him into his chest.
“Maggie,” he says like he hasn’t seen him in a year.
Jesus, this guy is obsessed.
Sem turns his head and nods at me before pressing a long-drawn-out kiss to my best friend’s mouth. And I shamelessly watch because it reminds me of Emery pressed up against me, those swollen, wet lips moving on mine.
Magnus just smiles widely and flushes. “Okay, big guy, we have company. Let’s bookmark this for later.”
When the two of them finally pull away, both panting heavily, I stand up and stuff my hands into my pockets.
“Yeah. That’s my cue. I should go.”
“Hey, no, you don’t have to. Stay for dinner,” Magnus says, turning to look at me. He’s a little rumpled and I see Sem pressing his face into his husband’s neck, inhaling him.
“Nope, you two have fun. I’ll grab dinner on the way home.”
Magnus begins to protest, but Sem’s already walking them to the bedroom.
“I’ll call you,” Magnus shouts after me. “We’re not done discussing this. This is very, very importan—” his voice cuts off. Probably from Sem’s mouth. That guy is seriously weird, but he’s incredibly protective of my best friend, so I’m glad that they got the happily ever after they deserve.
I shuffle my way to my car and instead of driving straight home and wallowing in my bedroom, I go to the batting cages and hit balls until my shoulders ache. Only when I’m exhausted, do I finally head home. I’m dreading the long night where I wonder if I should have just told my mom the truth.
But then I think back on the fact that Emery has moved on. It’s probably good that I didn’t say anything. Maybe I was just a temporary convenience for him and he lost interest. Or, maybe we just bonded because of the survival situation we were in.
I slowly shuffle up the driveway and fumble with my keys, making my way inside. God, what the hell am I supposed to do for the next few hours before I fall into a restless sleep. Mull over how I fucked up? Wonder what I’d be doing now if I hadn’t?
But that all dissipates when I walk into the living room and see who’s sitting on the couch. My chest constricts so tightly that I can’t find a good way to breathe.
My mouth opens and closes as our eyes collide.
Those fucking eyes.
“Look who stopped by,” my mom says, perched right next to Emery. “I was just about to call you.”
“Uh,” is all I manage to say.
She grasps onto his hand and then stands and moves toward me.
“I’m so sorry, but I can’t wait any longer. I have to get Thomas from work and then we’re heading out.” She lowers her voice and says to me, “Do you want us to cancel? He doesn’t seem good.”
