AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“What the hell do you want from me, Em?” I ask. “Just say what you want. Tell me.”
Emery stomps his foot and yells, “I want someone to fuckingfight for mefor once, goddammit.”
My breath leaves me in a whoosh and I deflate. I’m frozen in place. Silence fills the chasm between us.
“Forget I said that,” he says, his shoulders slumping. “I didn’t come here for that…I came because…damn, why did I come?”
He’s reaching into his pocket and pulling out a piece of candy and fumbles with it. It drops to the ground, and he curses.
“Em,” I say, moving toward him. His eyes are still on the candy on the floor, but he’s not moving to pick it up. He’s just stock-still, blinking down at it.
“Em,” I say softly and then reach out and gently touch his face. Oh god, to touch him again.
His breath comes out a little shattered and those big, brown eyes meet mine. They’re glassy with unshed tears and my heart rips in two.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know….”
He pushes my hand away from him.
“How could you? You’re not a mind reader. And I wanted you to stay away, but not really. And even though you were physically gone, you still managed to make yourself known. How are you so damn quiet, yet so loud at the same time? How is that possible?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh, you areso annoying. So, Thomas suddenly showing up at Lex’s asking to go out to eat wasn’t your doing? Or him wanting to mysteriously start up family therapy again? Or the goddamn insulin pump and glucose monitor? That wasn’t all you, August?”
I swallow and look away.
“You did that, didn’t you? Fuck you for being so goddamn perfect. How am I supposed to move on when you do shit like that? How is anyone else ever going to measure up?”
I have to shove my hands into my sweater pockets because I want to reach out to him again, but he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want me touching him.
“I just…that’s why I came tonight. To thank you and to tell you to stop being so great because I can’t stand it. And to say that you shouldnotbe rude. And say hi when you see me in a coffee shop across town. Because I still exist, August. I’m not a ghost, even if you want me to be.”
He huffs and then his phone buzzes and he glances at it.
“Lex is here. I have to go.”
“Wait,” I say. “You could stay….”
“If I stay, I will do something I’ll regret.”
“You’d regret it?’
He sighs sadly and murmurs, “No, and that’s the problem.”
The heels of his palms press to his temples and he closes his eyes. He inhales and exhales several times, ignoring the buzzing of his phone in his pants pocket.
Lex. Texting him.
My breath comes out in small pants, and I swallow to contain them.
“Are you…are you fucking him?” I manage to ask and Emery’s eyes shoot open.
“What?”
“Lex. Are you guys together again?”
Emery shakes his head, “No, of course not. I’m still too hung up on someone else.”
