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“I did. Although that didn’t seem to bother him. He seemed happy about it.”
I fold my arms across my chest and bite down on the inside of my cheek so tightly that I taste blood. Andrew doesn’t get to know these private parts of me. We aren’t friends. We aren’t anything. Not anymore.
“I am going to report this,” Andrew says.
I arch an eyebrow. “And why would you do that?”
“Because he head-butted me in the middle of a hotel. That’s assault, and it was unprovoked.”
“Oh, I seriously doubt that. I’m sure you said something to set him off.”
I’ve never seen Luke mad or act out in anger. And I know, from what little Luke told me, what Andrew had said.It was the same old shit he’d say to me when we were together.
“You were being an asshole about me being trans, weren’t you? You just couldn’t help yourself. You are such a prick.”
He shifts on his seat, slowly losing the moral high ground. The people next to us indiscreetly listening are hearing this too.
Fine. Let them hear.
“Were you making your usual degrading comments about me to him?”
Andrew shakes his head. “It wasn’t like that. We were having a conversation, and then he just freaked out. And anyway, I was only trying to help. You two obviously can’t last.”
“You just can’t help yourself, can you? Asshole to the core. Do yourself a favor and stay away from us. Luke doesn’t need to deal with any of your shit, and neither do I.”
He scoffs, and I roll my eyes, leaning toward him. “And you will not be reporting this.”
“Oh yeah? And why shouldn’t I?”
I have this insane urge to smash my hand against that ice pack, to listen to his nose crunch once more. To finish what Luke started.
“Don’t make me call my sisters,” I say, and Andrew pales, his eyes widening.
“You wouldn’t.”
“Oh. I would.”
Andrew leans farther away from me and shakes his head. “Fine, but you keep him away from me. I don’t feel safe with him lurking around this hotel.”
I roll my eyes, but the following words from his mouth make my cheeks flush with anger.
“I won’t report this to the police, but management is going to ask him to leave,” Andrew says, almost looking proud.
Oh, fuck him.
“I’m sure they will, and they’ll makeyouleave as well once I tell them what a transphobic asshole you are.”
I’m bluffing. I have no idea what they’ll do, and I doubt they’ll side with me. But I’m furious and spouting out half-truths. I want to hurt him for hurting Luke.
I turn my back on Andrew and am met with two men from security. I speak with them even though I barely hear what they say over the roar in my ears. But I make out enough. They want Luke to leave, or they’ll file a report.
Andrew hems and haws in the background like the martyr he isn’t, and I clench my hands into fists, lest I slap him with one.
I shouldn’t be surprised though. He’s always been like this, and upon self-reflection, I’m shocked I overlooked this major character flaw for so long. He would always go along with my games in the bedroom and make me feel like shit for it later, complaining that I was too rough, or too degrading. Even though we’d discussed it, and I’d checked in with him, and we both set up safe words in advance. But he’d never used them. Instead, he chose to use my proclivities to humiliate me and make me feel disgusted with myself. There were days I’d just be consumed with shame.
Andrew liked it, seeing me so weak. He used it touseme. And I’d let him because I’d been afraid to be alone.
Well, I’ve been alone for a long time now and have made peace with it.
