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“It’s the end of the semester,” he says, swallowing roughly, his eyes on the floor. “So, the deal between us is done.”
I push away from the counter and step toward him.
“What the fuck are you even talking about?” I ask. Because I want him to spell it out for me.
Shit, did this mean more to me than it did for him?
He closes his eyes and rolls his lips between his teeth, but doesn’t answer.
“Look at me, Theo. Do you really want me to go?”
He glances at me briefly, blinking rapidly, and then turns away from me again.
“Oh, hell no,” I say, stomping out of the kitchen, irritation rolling inside of me. I was going to invite him to Christmas. I wanted to spend the holidays with him. I wanted to fuck under the mistletoe.
Does he not want me anymore?
Does he just need a little space?
What the hell is even happening?
My thoughts are running rampant and I don’t know what else to do, so I move toward the front door and grab the doorknob, but I suddenly stop, take a deep breath in and out, and turn around. I see Theo crawling under the covers of his bed, pulling them over his head, and my heart just cracks.
I’m not fucking leaving. Not yet.
He needs to tell me to go.
I stomp over to the bed, wrenching the covers off of him and tossing them onto the ground.
“Do you want me?” I blurt.
Theo blinks up at me.
“Tell me!”
He swallows and nods. “Of course I do, but I don’t want you to feel like—”
I don’t let him finish. I just pull him up into my arms, crushing him to my chest.
“Then don’t fucking push me away. I’m not through with you. I don’t think I’ll ever be through with you.”
His body trembles against me and a sob erupts out of him, and all that lingering frustration is expelled in a breath.
“Fuck. I’m not leaving, and you’re spending motherfucking Christmas with me. And the new year. And next Christmas, too. And the rest of our time on earth, really.”
Theo lets out a wet laugh and clutches onto me, his fingers digging into my back.
“Okay,” he mutters.
“Better be okay, asshole. Don’t scare me like that, ever again,” I mutter and he looks up at me, his eyelashes wet, his lips trembling.
“You really mean it? You’re sure you want to be with me?”
“Hell yes, I do. Pack your shit. We’re leaving tomorrow.”
* * *
THEO
