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Jordan made sure to be quiet when he slid the key into the lock back at his apartment. He already knew that Laura was home since she texted him and said she was going to bed.
He didn’t begrudge her not staying up. She wanted to go for a run tomorrow and had spent the majority of the day glued to her laptop working on her thesis. She was mentally exhausted.
For the billionth time since the cab dropped off Rayma and drove him all the way back down to Cook Street Village, he checked his phone.
Nothing.
He wasn’t expecting Rayma to text him anything more than her apology for punching him , but he was hoping she would.
He hated that they’d parted on such shitty terms.
And it was all his fault—again.
Here he thought he was doing the right thing when just like he always seemed to, he was fucking it up beyond repair.
He opened the bedroom door and slid his gaze across Laura’s body beneath the covers. Softly, he padded his sock feet over to the en suite bathroom and stepped inside, closed the door then flicked on the light.
He had a quick shower and brushed his teeth before turning off the light again and silently crawling under the covers.
But he couldn’t sleep.
His brain was on overdrive and his heart, as hard as he tried to calm it, was threatening to bruise his ribs it was pounding so hard.
Tucking his hands behind his head, he stared blankly up at the white ceiling. Moonlight filtered in through the white gauzy drapes casting the room into long shadows.
He squeezed his eyes shut, but all he could see when he did that was Rayma. First, she was staring at him from the other side of the bar, hurt painted across her face. Then when he shook that image free it was just replaced by another version of Rayma, this time she was scared out of her tree and clinging to him as he took her in his arms after finding her next to her unconscious friend in that conference room. And finally, after shedding that image, he saw her in all her naked glory, bouncing on top of him, smiling with her caramel waves tumbling over her shoulders as he gripped her hips and bucked up into her.
Growling, he pulled the pillow out from under his head and smashed it over his face. He was with Laura. He wasin bedwith Laura. He should not be thinking about another woman. Laura didn’t deserve that.
The pillow was still over his face when a cool, soft hand slid across his chest. “Hey, everything okay?” Laura’s voice was breathy and sleepy. Her nails gently scratched his left pec, then her lips fell to his shoulder.
With a long exhale, he pulled the pillow off his face and tucked it back under his head before turning to face her in the dark.
She blinked those big blue doll eyes at him and smiled sweetly. “She’s your ex, isn’t she?”
Stiffly, he nodded.
“And you’re still in love with her?”
Fuck. He did not want to hurt Laura. She didn’t deserve that. She was sweet and kind and wonderful. He was being such an asshole. “I’m sorry I lied. I should have told you she was my ex when you met her. Or when I told you I was going to see if she was okay.”
Laura merely smiled. “I don’t look at it like a lie. I trust you, Jordan. I know you’re not a cheater. You’re one of the good guys. If right now when I asked you if she was your ex and you lied, then we’d have a problem. But I don’t look at the other times as lies.”
“Well, I do, and I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted. Now, let’s talk about you and this woman you’re still in love with.”
He scrubbed his hands down his face and grumbled. “I’m sorry. You don’t deserve this, Laura. I—”
“There’s a reason we haven’t said theL-wordto each other, you know,” she said. “Because we don’t love each other. We like each other, sure. Are sexually attracted to each other, have fun together. But we’re not in love. We’ve been what the other person needed for a specific amount of time, but I think our time together has run its course, and that’s okay.”
What? He rolled over to face her, propping his head in his hands. “Laura …” How could she be so cool with all of this?
She shook her head, placed her hand over his heart, and smiled. “I was offered a job in Nova Scotia at the University of Dalhousie. They said I could get my PhD if I wanted to, that the lab professor would be my supervisor.”
His eyes went wide. “So …”
“So we’re not meant to be together forever, Jordan. I care about you deeply, but I’ve always kind of known that your heart belongs to someone else. I never pried about who she was because I didn’t want there to bethreepeople in this relationship, even though there always kind of was, wasn’t there? We’ve had fun.” She shrugged and her lips twisted sadly. “But, let’s be honest, I kind of invited myself to come to live with you. I was done with Ucluelet and Tofino, my cousins, aunts, and uncles are here, so it just seemed like it made sense to move here. But we’re not meant to be.”
