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“Are we not friends?”
“Nope.”
His shoulders slumped slightly and seemed to drag down the corners of his mouth with them. “Laura and I broke up.”
Her eyes went wide. “Did you dump her so you could get back together with me? Oh my God, Jordan!” She tossed her hands in the air and stepped out in her slipper-covered feet onto her patio, closing her door behind her. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
He turned to face her. “No, I didn’t break up with her to get back together with you. Though, I’m kind of hoping that now that Iamsingle that we can—”
She threw her hand up in front of him. “No.”
“Why?”
“Because it doesn’t work that way.” Curiosity burned a wicked trail through her and the question was out of her mouth before she could stop it. “Why did you break up then?”
“She’s moving to Nova Scotia for a job and we realized we’re not compatible. We’re better off friends.” He lifted one shoulder. “She also knows I’m still in love with you.”
“So you did dump her to get back with me!” Rayma plunked her hands on her hips and glowered at him. “That poor woman.”
“She’s not a poor woman. She’s the one who instigated the split. Aconscious uncoupling, she called it.”
“Oh, how very Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin of you. What are you going to do next? Shove a jade yoni egg up your asshole?” She rolled her eyes.
“What the fuck is a yoni egg?”
Shaking her head, she dismissed him with a hand wave. “Even if that was the case, I’m not taking you back. You hurt me, Jordan, and I made a promise to myself a long fucking time ago that I wouldn’t let myself get hurt by anybody—particularly emotionally unavailable, thick-headed, dumbass men—ever again.”
“You won’t even give us a chance?”
She could feel the burn of unshed tears behind her eyes and her throat was growing tight. She could not let him see her come undone. He didn’t get that privilege anymore. Very few people had ever seen her lose her shit and crumple to the ground as the emotions commandeered the reins of her sanity. Jordan had been one of those people—once. But he wasn’t now. “It’s too late,” she said, hating the way the words croaked out. “You’re too late.”
Grinding her teeth until she was sure she’d chip a tooth, she made her way past him, keeping a healthy distance, and turned the knob on her front door, opening it and stepping up and into her foyer.
“The city is big enough we shouldn’t have too much of a problem running into each other. You stay in the west, I’ll stay in the east.”
“Rayma …”
She shook her head. “No, Jordan. Please, just go. I have nothing to say to you, and nothing I want to hear from you.” He took a step forward, but she held up her hand and stepped deeper into her suite. “No.”
He backed up two steps. “So you won’t hear me out? Won’t even think about giving us another chance?”
“No. I don’t see how we could make it work, and I’m … I’m over you.”
No, she wasn’t. She’d never be completely over Jordan. He was the first man she’d ever loved. The first person who reallygother and also didn’t try to change her, or force her to filter herself.
“No, you’re not.” He shook his head, set the pineapple down on her patio table, then jammed his hands into his jean pockets and started to slowly step backward up her driveway. “I’m not over you, and you’re not over me. I can see it in your eyes. I know when you’re lying, Rayma. I know when you’re putting on a brave front, and you’re doing that right now.”
So, what if she was?
“You’re wrong this time,” she said, not willing to let him see her crumble.
“We’ll see. I’m back, Rayma, and I’m not going to give up. Not when I know we can be something great together.”
He was dead wrong, though. They could have been something great, but now, they were too late. He was too late. She started to close the door, her body behind it, face peering out, her free hand pulling hard on her ear so that she had some other kind of pain to distract her from the ache in her heart.
She leveled him with her most serious, mostdon’t fucking mess with melook. “Goodbye, Jordan. Have a nice life.” Then she closed the door, plastered her back to it, slid down to her butt, and cried until she had no more tears left.
March four years ago …
