AllFreeNovel
Share Us
With a sigh and a shake of my head, I opened the door, letting the warmth of summer greet me full on the face. As I made my way to the car, I could only wonder how many years of being in remission it would take for her not to scrub the kitchen on an hourly basis. Twenty? Thirty? Until we were both old and life had passed us by in a bubble of bleach and over cleanliness?
By the heavens above, I couldn't let that happen. I fucking needed to find myself a life. Romance. Hell, I'd never even dated, let alone kissed a boy. I was a woman who'd stopped participating in life at the age of twelve, but I had needs. The sooner they were met, the better.
I climbed into the old BMW and turned the ignition, waiting for it to rumble to life. Backing up, I had another twinge of guilt over leaving her. She would be disappointed.
"Not today," I hissed. Inhaled sharply and turned on my eighties rock.Livin' on a Prayerblared from the speakers. As I drove out of our neighborhood, I sang at the top of my lungs, eager to stifle any lingering guilt.
Thankfully, traffic was light, and there wasn't a need to take various cut-throughs. I reached the hospital with time to spare. As soon as I parked, my phone rang. No doubt it was Mom, which was why I ignored it. I couldn't go back for her now without being late.
Besides, I'd made a decision. I needed to see it through.
Hefting my bag, I shut off the car and climbed out, locking the door behind me.
The sun shone brightly, warming my skin as I walked across the parking lot. To the left of the entrance was a small garden area with lush grass and flowers as well as a weeping willow. I swerved toward it, thinking it would be lovely to spend my extra time just sitting by myself, being quiet, taking in everything around me without being asked if I'd washed my hands. There was a bench under the tree, and I thought to catch my breath. Before I reached it, my stomach grumbled loudly and reminded me all too clearly that in my bid for freedom and a lone trip to the hospital, I'd failed to eat breakfast. Mom had put some dedication into training my body to eat the right foods at the correct times, and I was way past the allotted oatmeal, natural peanut butter, and berries with flaxseed.
With an irritated huff, I veered toward the sliding double doors and went inside. In my wing of the hospital, there was a vending machine with various forbidden treats I'd only ever glanced longingly at—until now. A spring in my step, I made my way toward the machine filled with chocolatey goodness, moving past people coming in the opposite direction, their appointments or business at the hospital complete.
Three steps. I searched in my purse for my wallet.
Two steps. I pulled out a five-dollar bill.
My hand stretched out, ready to slide in the money and tap the numbers that would deliver delicious joy.
"Lux, you're nice and early."
I turned, caught in the act, only to find Sally, one of the nurses on the team, looking at me with a smile and clutching a caramel and nougat chocolate bar to her chest. She had what I wanted and was taunting me.
Damn it. I glanced at the vending machine.
I'll be back,I earnestly thought in its direction.
"Traffic was good," I said and put a smile on my face.
"So it seems. Clinic is running early today. Come on, let's check your stats and then you can get outside and enjoy the rest of the day and the glorious sunshine." She smiled, showing off her gapped front teeth that somehow worked on her.
Enjoy the wrath of Mom was a more accurate description, but whatever. I wouldn't focus on that now.
"Sure." I shoved my hands into the front pockets of my shorts.
"No Mom today?" She looked over my shoulder in question. Did Sally not realize I was twenty-two either?
"Nope, just me, going solo." I tried not to wince at the lashing I would get when I did return home.
Sally squeezed my arm in response. "Good for you, but you know she only cares. I don't think the fear of losing her daughter will ever go away." Her dark eyes became soft.
"She could lose me at any moment," I said as pent-up frustration caused me to lash out. "A car could take me out on the way home. A piano could fall on my head, or I don't know, I could get mauled by a dog. The possibilities are endless, really." Sally's argument exasperated me only because mom had been using the same line for years. "She's still living as though I'm a child." I sounded like a true bitch, but the freedom to speak my mind pulled my annoyances front and center.
Sally gave me a look, part sympathy, and part reproach. "That's true, and I can sympathize."
She didn't say, but I knew she was talking about sympathizing with my mom, not me. Sally looked to be in her forties, which meant she probably had her own children. It was easier for her to understand my mom's point of view.
"We'll be quick," she added, stopping in front of the scale. "Let's get your weight."
I kept my sandals on and stepped up.
The weight was in kilograms instead of pounds.
"Fifty-two," she murmured and wrote it on my chart. Was that a twinge of concern in her voice?
