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I clamped my teeth together so firmly it was a surprise they didn't break. “I’ll call,” I said finally.
“Go and wait in the main waiting area. I’ll come and tell you if anything happens.”
If anything happens? What did he mean?
I had her bag of stuff, so with numb legs and a shell-shocked fuzziness in my head, I ambled out to the waiting room. Not being near her left me slightly off-kilter. It felt wrong. I sat on a hard plastic chair, again, for the second time in a few short weeks.
My call to Lux's mom, Olivia, was short and to the point. There was bitterness in her voice. The woman hadn’t liked me before. Now, I sensed hatred. But she said she would be on the next fight out.
Then it was a waiting game, and I disliked waiting with the passion of a million suns.
* * *
Olivia’s arrivalbrought me out of my chair. Four times I’d tried to get in to see Lux. Each attempt ended in failure, and I was frustrated because no one was telling me anything. So, it was with relief that I saw Olivia. Her mom might hate me, but at least I would get answers.
“I’m glad you’re here. They won’t let me see her.”
Her face wore a stony mask, but then she seemed to look at me closer and let out a sigh. “I knew this would happen. I warned her. Spending time with you might have cost her life.”
“What? Why? I didn’t do anything to hurt her. I swear.” I pulled at my hair.
“Just being with you is killing her.” Olivia eyed me carefully, and her shoulders dropped. “She hasn’t told you the truth, has she?”
“What do you mean?” The anxiety in my stomach clenched my heart, and I thought it would break.
“She has a compromised immune system from fighting cancer ten years ago. And,” she paused. “Her cancer has come back.”
I reeled back in shock. "No." The world started to spin, and I leaned against the nearest wall. It was like everything, every fucking painful moment I’d spent with my sister, came rushing back. All those times she had laid in that hospital bed suffering. Dying. And I couldn’t do a fucking thing to help.
“Are you getting it now?” Olivia asked, her eyes pinning me like a dead moth on a matted canvas.
I staggered back. Lux had survived cancer once but had failed to mention it to me. And now it was back?” “I-I didn’t know,” I said, rubbing my hands through my hair.
Olivia sagged a little. “I figured as much. If you cared for her, you’d never have brought her along for the ride.” She went to the ER window.
I followed, standing beside her, feeling like a whipped puppy. “What happens now?” Cancer? My head reeled at all the memories. It’d taken my sister’s life. Slowly. Painfully. The way she’d suffered. Seeing the way it ate her from the inside out… That was the fucking reason I'd always been a one-night-stand kind of man. How the fuck had I forgotten?
“Is it terminal?” The words sounded hollow in my throat.
Olivia shook her head. “Not necessarily. But it does mean she's caught an infection somewhere. Each one always seems worse than the last.”
How had Lux not told me? My heart raced inside my chest to the point I thought I was having a heart attack. The fight or flight response kicked in. If Lux had cancer again, would I be able to watch her die?
The nurse came to the window and spoke with Olivia. I barely heard what they were saying. But when she went to follow the nurse, I jumped into action. “Let me come with you, please.”
Olivia met my gaze and gave a slight nod of her head.
The male nurse who’d blocked me from seeing Lux hours before shot me a sympathetic smile.
When I stepped into the room, I thought I would pass out. Lux was asleep, skin ashen, a drip running from her arm to a bag of clear liquid on a stand. But she was alive.
“What’s that?” I asked, my voice a whisper.
“Antibiotics. They will make her ill, but she needs a strong dose to kill off the infection and give her a fighting chance. Then we will rebuild her immune system again.” Olivia glared. "That is if she makes it." Her words came out clipped. Yet she sounded tired too.
Suddenly, I understood why she was so fiercely protective of her daughter. The same protective surge ran through my blood.
“What can I do to help?” I asked, my teeth clenched together as though that could hold in my agony.
