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“I’m… fine…” Aiden’s tiny voice says. He sounds so grown up as he tries to soothe Amanda, despite the short, rapid breaths he’s trying to take every few seconds.
I can’t seem to catch my own breath as I listen to him wheeze.
“Thank you… for… the… gifts,” Aiden whispers to us. He’s forcing a smile, but the coughing has at least subsided.
“You know we wouldn’t miss your birthday,” Leeah says with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. They’re full of nothing but sorrow for Aiden and Megan.
My insides are aching for everyone in the room. The pain in the eyes of the sick child who is lying in the bed in front of me. The level of helplessness felt by everyone who can’t do a damn thing to help. And not to mention how terrible I feel for standing here without knowledge of any of it.
“Hello there,” a nurse says as she enters the room, snapping me out of my daze and forcing my to bring my gaze up from the foot of Aiden’s hospital bed.
“Hi Lauren,” Megan says, her focus still on her son.
“It’s my… birthday… today… Lau-... Lauren,” Aiden says with a struggle.
Lauren walks up beside me and rests her elbows on the table at the foot of Aiden’s bed. “I know it is!” she says with enthusiasm. “Why do you think I came to see you?”
“For my… medicine,” Aiden says, smiling through the pain. He’s so smart for such a young kid.
“What gave it away?” Laurens asks in a perky tone.
“Your… tablet,” Aiden says. He lifts a hand and points to the electronic tablet in Lauren’s arms. From what I can see, it’s Aiden’s chart.
Wow, medicine has come far. Now they’re doing everything iPads instead of paper and a clipboard.
And to think… in my other life, I’m a stripper.
Mom would be so proud.
“Well, I don’t need this pesky thing,” Lauren says as she sets it down on the table in front of her and myself. “I just came to get your permission to steal a cupcake.”
Aiden’s smile grows wider.
“Of course you can have a cupcake,” Megan says. Her eyes are glossy with emotion.
Lauren walks away, leaving her tablet laying directly in front of me where I can see everything on Aiden’s chart.
And the nausea in my gut grows stronger with every word I read.
BONE MARROW BIOPSY
LEUKEMIA
RADIATION
CHEMOTHERAPY
This poor kid… I feel my mouth open in surprise as I continue to scan the chart. My brain is doing quick math and realizing he’s been in here for almost a full year.
It must be bad.
Lauren scurries across the floor as another nurse comes into the room. She swipes up her tablet before the other nurse realizes it wasn’t in her hands and looks at me in a way of saying she’s had it the entire time. I then give her a shrug as a way of saying I didn’t see anything.
Even though my insides are churning at the reality of the situation.
“Happy birthday, Aiden,” the other nurse says. “I hope you’re feeling better today!”
Aiden nods, though I can tell he’s lying to make everyone feel better. How did he get so mature? How does he have such a sense of what others need to feel better at his age?
