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I nod into her shoulder and squeeze her even tighter. “I’m sorry for everything,” I say to her. “For everything you had to go through. And for the way I’ve been acting lately.”
She gives me a final squeeze and lets me go. I smile up at her and she watches as I walk toward the door to head out of the club. I look over my shoulder as Geani enters the room. We give each other a nod and she sits down at my vanity, starting up a conversation with Megan.
It’s a nice sight, actually. All of them getting along and being able to tackle something that has haunted them for so long.
My heart feels full as I turn and walk out of the club for the very last time.
Once I’m back home, I walk over to the couch and look around, waiting for something to happen. Waiting to be taken back to Nick and the kids.
“Why is nothing happening?” I ask nobody. “Why am I still here? I’ve done everything I was supposed to do. I helped everyone that I was supposed to help. I even said ‘thank you’ to the old lady. Granted I put the pie in her mailbox, but that shouldn’t have stopped me from going home to my family.”
I slam my hands on the couch. “I want to see my kids!” I scream. I look around at the house. “Everything is clean! I held up my end of the bargain with the girls! We made up!” Tears start to well up in my eyes as I think about little Spencer. As I think about Jenna, Carter, and Laura.
“I know they had an attitude, I know they were hard to handle,” I say, the tears growing stronger. “But they’re my kids! I deserve to see my kids!”
Nothing happens. Nothing goes dark and I don’t fade back into my other life. I’m still sitting on the couch.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry for whatever I did!”
I’m on the verge of sobbing now. I feel so helpless. Why can’t I get out of here?
“I know I was awful in my other life and I never should have said those things to Nick. I shouldn’t keep relying on him to make me happy! I understand that I need to be happy with myself and I feel like I did that in this life! I feel like I turned myself around and fixed what I needed to fix!”
I’m now screaming at the walls as I cry.
“Take me back to my family! Take me back to Nick so I can make it right! So I can take responsibility for the things I’ve said! So I can watch my kids grow up and appreciate the time I have with them!”
My voice is starting to crack the more I scream.
“Let me apologize to my husband! Let me fix things between us! Let me-”
My voice is cut off as a burning sensation grows in my chest. I collapse to the floor and feel pain in my ribs, abdomen, and arms.
Everything starts to hurt.
I begin choking and scratching at my chest. I can’t breathe. My throat is burning and no matter how hard I try, I can’t get air into my lungs.
“Nurse!” I hear Nick yell. “Nurse! She’s choking!”
I’m trying to look around, but everything is blurry as I fight for air.
“Nurse! Get in here!” Nick screams.
That’s him. That’s my husband.
I hear footsteps rushing toward me.
“She’s fighting the tube,” the nurse says. “That’s a good sign. It means she’s breathing on her own.”
I recognize that voice. It’s the same nurse that was talking to Nick when he was asking a bunch of questions. Talking to the doctor and trying to figure out when I would come out of that coma.
I feel a bunch of pressure in my throat, followed by a rush of air flooding into my lungs.
I choke and cough and scratch at the blankets that are draped over me as I catch my breath. My vision is still blurry, but I’m blinking as fast as I can while I breathe the sweet air of the hospital.
“Nick,” I say, though when I hear my own voice it sounds like the voice of a chainsmoker. “Nick,” I say again, reaching around trying to find him. My hand comes in contact with something and when it squeezes me, I realize it’s Nick’s hand.
“I’m right here,” he says. “I’m here.”
