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That should have been my trigger. But unfortunately, it wasn’t.
“And what is the story with rules?” Paige wonders.
“Like no guys at home, whether they’re strangers or members of the house.”
“He told you not to hit on his friends?”
“Prohibitedwould be the most accurate term.”
“That’s super embarrassing,” laughs Carol. “Ed and his tact!”
And I still have this stupid idea of regulating everything stuck in my craw, as if it wasn’t already upsetting their routine that I moved in with them. I understand that, except for my brother—who insisted that I move in—the guys didn’t want to live with a girlat all.And I myself don’t really know if this roommate thing is really a good idea anymore! Initially, I was excited to see them again, even though I knew I was going to go from one extreme to another. I had just spent eleven dreamy months in France, foolishly believing that my crush was going to dwindle.Bullshit. Between “never seeing Nolan” and “living with Nolan,” I was screwed. Not only does this new roommate situation change nothing in my relationship with him, but I’m getting this impossible love in front of me every day. And to top it all off, I bring a whole bunch of stuff to respect, which makes guys probably hate me.
It’s just su-per!
***
When I arrive at the apartment this evening, Leo is already there. Bags are strewn on the kitchen floor and he fills the fridge with a whole lot of stuff.
“You need help?”
“I don’t mind if you empty these two in the cupboards.”
He points to the grocery bags and I immediately get to them, dropping off my school stuff on the way.
“How was your day?” he asks me.
“A classic gets back to school day. And you? Where is Edgar?”
“Shitty, as usual,” he laughs. “He’s in the shower. He died of heat.”
I laugh while putting away a packet of cereal.
“Tonight, I was thinking of making pasta. What do you say?” I ask.
“I’m in. Just make it for three. Nolan isn’t coming home.”
I pause for a nanosecond in my task, struggling to assimilate the information that Leo has just given me.
Nolan isn’t here tonight.
“Where is he?” I try in a confident voice.
I know I’ll regret my curiosity, but part of me needs to know. I need to clear up once and for all these unmanageable feelings. Eleven months later, it’s back to square one. Same epidermal reactions, same emotions, same jolts in my chest as soon as he’s there. However, my arrival to the apartment made me realizeone thing: thingshavechanged. Nolan has a girlfriend. I could try to ignore it when I was in France. Today? I have to move on, or the damage may be irreversible.
“He sleeps at Harriet’s. He’s not often there at night and now that we have put in place new rules, it’ll be a while before he spends the night over here.”
Leo laughs as he winks at me and I force myself to smile as deep inside my heart breaks a little more.
At least, if it breaks, it won’t be able to beat for him anymore. You have to see the bright side of things.
So, it’s decided, by the end of this, my weakness for Nolan will be forgotten and he’ll take back the place he always should have had, that of a brother.
Nor more. No less.
4
Scarlett
