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"Have you ever tried that? It's awful." She finally aims her gaze at the window display, though I don't think she's actually looking at it. "Besides, I had enough of men for a good long while."
"Bad breakup?"
"Not just one. Several." She sighs, and her expression turns melancholy. "Maybe there's something wrong with me, I don't know. But men always disappoint me."
"There's nothing wrong with you." I release her hand so I can wrap my arm around her shoulders. "You are a wonderful girl."
"You're very sweet, Ben. But you don't really know me."
And she doesn't really know me either. Should I tell her about my family? No, it's much too soon to drop that bomb on her head. I can't imagine she would lustfully hunger for the status and wealth my family can offer, but I don't want to scare her away. Am I sort of, potentially, considering that she might become my girlfriend? No, I can't do that. She loves her simple life here in New Hampshire, and I would never want to drag her away from that.
My world is no place for a kind, sweet woman like Sam.
Why did I run away from that world? While I follow Sam back to where we left her snowmobile, I can't help wondering if she could handle knowing who and what I am. But if I tell her, and she runs away like a ravenous bear is chasing her…
No, I shouldn't tell her anything. I don't want her to get entangled in my world. It would only wreck her life.
Chapter Eight
Sam
Ben gets quiet once we're back at my place and seems kind of depressed. He started seeming that way before we left town, but I couldn't ask him about it since a snowmobile ride isn't conducive to talking. Once we get inside my house, he says he needs to lie down for a while because he's "knackered," which I assume means he's wiped out. Ben retreats to the sofa and stretches out lengthwise, grabbing the fleece blanket I keep on the sofa's back and draping it over his eyes and nose with only his mouth visible. Then he clasps his hands over his belly.
And he pretends to sleep.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's playing possum. His breathing doesn't slow down the way it does when someone falls asleep, and he occasionally twiddles his thumbs.
Why did Ben need to lie down and hide under a blanket? I decide my best option is to wait until he gives up the farce and wants to talk to me again. Maybe he's embarrassed by what we did in the restaurant. I should probably feel that way, but I don't. If any other man had suggested getting it on in public, I would've told him N-O in a big way. But I can't say no to Ben. I suppose I should worry about why that is, but I can't do that either. He is hands-down the sexiest sweetie-pie I've ever met.
While Ben pretends to sleep, I go out on the deck to check on the hot tub. Grandpa had loved to soak in there during the cold winter months, and he placed the hot tub on the side of the house that rarely gets much wind. That means the blizzard yesterday probably didn't cover the hot tub with three feet of snow. But I should make sure everything's okay out there.
All I need to do is spend a few minutes shoveling away the little bit of snow that accumulated around the hot tub. Its cover protected it from the elements, so I'll be good to go if I want to enjoy a soak in the outdoors.
Does Ben like hot tubs? I'd love to relax in the steamy water with him.
With that thought in mind, I remove the cover and turn on the jets. I've got an intuition that we'll be using this tub later—because I'm going to suggest it.
When I walk into the living room again, Ben has given up feigning sleep. He's sitting up and stretching his arms above his head while a slight smile curves his lips.
"Feeling better?" I ask as I sit on the sofa beside him. "You seemed a little bummed earlier."
He lifts his brows. "Bummed? No, I wouldn't characterize it as that. I was tired."
"But you faked being asleep."
He winces a teeny bit. "Sorry. I didn't want to talk, but I was actually tired. Just not ready to sleep."
"It's okay. We aren't dating, so you're under no obligation to share your deepest feelings with me."
"But I want to share things with you." He angles toward me, laying his arm across the sofa's back. "I like you a lot, Sam. But my, ah, family situation is rather complicated."
"Don't you get along with your family?"
"We get on all right. But I have…obligations that have become sort of an albatross around my neck." He sighs. "I love my mum and dad, and my sister, but everyone expects me to give up the life I've built for myself just so I can fulfill some arbitrary duty."
Oh yeah, my curiosity just kicked into high gear. But I shouldn't ask intrusive questions. It's not my business. So I say the only thing that seems acceptable under the circumstances. "I'm sorry you're stressed, Ben. Wish I could make you feel better."
"You have. Meeting you has been a breath of fresh air."
