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I warp my mouth into a rueful smile. "You're wondering if Lachlan did this with Erica. I can see it on your face."
The lass hunches her shoulders, her lips trying to kink up but not quite succeeding.
I rummage in the insulated bag, my gaze focused on the items inside it. "No, Lachlan did not feed Atholl Brose to Erica. This was my idea."
"Good. That's probably why I like it."
"I have more for you." I extract a plastic, sandwich-size container and set it on the bed, then continue my rummaging. "Glad I redeemed myself with you. I was supposed to be the MacTaggart who seduces the lasses, and Lachlan is the uptight one who cannae be romantic if his life depends on it. I was starting to worry I'd lost my touch."
"No chance of that." She takes another sip of her drink, which I know because I hear her slurping. "But I don't think this is genuine sibling rivalry. Ever since you told me about Seona, I've had an inkling you feel guilty about something, and I think that's the real reason you feel like a failure."
I slump my shoulders, shifting my attention to the bedspread. "You're a clever lass. Should've known I couldn't hide the truth from you for long."
"Guess the question is do you trust me enough to tell me."
I swing my gaze up to hers. "I trust you. Completely."
She takes a long pull on her straw, then clears her throat. "Are you going to tell me?"
"Aye." It's time to confess, but I feel a wee bit queasy when I think about telling her. Anxiety is a relatively new experience for me, and that's my only excuse for shoving both hands into my hair and scratching my scalp furiously, like I can shake the unease out of myself. With a groaning sigh, I give up and just tell her. "I told you about my casual-dating arrangement with Seona."
"You were sleeping with her."
For some reason, I can't look at her while I explain, so I glance away and nod. "Six months ago, she invited me to go rock climbing with her. I've never been interested in sports, though Lachlan and Rory like to do the Highland games. Hammer throw, caber toss, anything to impress the lasses."
"You don't care about impressing us females?"
"I'd rather prove my manliness in other ways." I almost grin when I say that, but then I remember what I need to tell Calli, and I can't smile anymore. "But Seona, she did all sorts of extreme things like rock climbing. I agreed to go with her. I'd done a bit of climbing with my brothers, so I understood the risks and the basic techniques."
Calli settles a hand over mine where it rests on my thigh.
I pull my hand out from under hers and move it to my knee. "She took us to Beinn a' Bheithir, a mountain near Loch Leven not far from Ballachulish, and we set out along her favorite trail until she found a spot she liked for climbing. The terrain is difficult and not for casual hikers, only for people who want a challenge. We didn't get around to scaling the cliffs. I donnae know what happened, but all of a sudden the ground came out from under us, and we were falling." I squeeze my eyes shut against the memory, but it still flares in my mind, as vivid and real as when the accident happened. "Next thing I remember is waking up in hospital."
"How bad was it?"
"I got off easy. Cracked ribs, dislocated shoulder, various cuts and bruises. Seona… Her injuries were more severe. Besides broken bones, she hit her head on a large rock. She blamed me for the accident."
"Why? Did anybody figure out what happened?"
"There had been rains the day before, and as best as anyone could tell, that softened the mountainside enough to make part of it come loose. Our weight must've triggered it. No one's fault, they said, nothing but a freak accident."
"But you still blame yourself."
"I was in front, with Seona behind me. Maybe I could've spotted the danger if I'd been paying more attention. But I was too busy flirting with her."
"That doesn't make it your fault."
"She blames me, and I can't help agreeing."
Calli moves her hand like she wants to touch me, but then seems to realize I don't want that. She folds her hands on her lap. "Why does Seona keep calling you and demanding money?"
"For her pain and suffering." My fingers dig into my thighs as I clench my jaw, remembering the spite in Seona's voice every time we've spoken lately. "She seems all right overall, but she's become fixated on the accident and very bitter about the fact I wasn't injured worse."
"Aidan, I'm so sorry. No wonder you feel guilty, with her hammering it into your head."
I slide over to the side of the bed, swinging my legs off it to set my feet on the floor. Cannae look at Calli, not while I keep talking about Seona. "She'd always been hotheaded, but now she seems to want revenge on me. I can't understand it. I may feel guilt over the accident, but I don't have the money she wants. Spent it all on coming here, finding you."
"Guess that makes it my fault she's hounding you."
