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"I have a brother and a cousin I love."
"Gavin lives in Minnesota, and Tara's in Chicago. You hardly see them."
Calli fists her hands at her sides, staring at me like she's never seen me before.
Mhac na galla. I've said the wrong thing again, haven't I? Since I have no bloody idea how to explain my feelings to Calli, I have no way of sorting this mess I've made.
She backs up to the counter, grasping its edge with both hands. "If Seona's having your baby, this is all moot anyway."
"We can still be together, even if the bairn's mine."
She stuffs her hands under her armpits and shakes her head. "You're not the kind of man who could do that. You'll marry her."
"I want you, that's all I know right now."
"You want a wife. Why does it have to be me? Seona can give you a family right off the bat. Why do you still want to marry me?"
"Donnae love her. I loveyou."
She's trembling, but not because she's cold. "You wanted an American wife, and I was handy. It was an accident we met, you were only interested because you found me in the same stupid club where Lachlan and Erica met. Why marry me?"
I open my mouth to speak, then shut it and study her with more intensity than I've ever done before with anyone. Though I know what she's doing, I can't think of a way to talk her down. Calli has latched onto all her fears about being trapped again the way that Rade bastard did to her, and she's transferring those anxieties onto our relationship. I know I can't change her mind right now. There's no time.
Telling Calli I love her hasn't worked. She asked why I want to marry her, and I have only one answer I can give her today.
"Not for a bloody green card," I say, with a bitter edge to my voice, "that's for certain."
"I didn't mean…" She seems to have forgotten what she meant to say mid-sentence.
Straightening, I march around the bar into the kitchen, straight to her, where I halt right in front of her, no more than a foot away. "I'll do it. I'll stay here. To keep you in my life, I'll do anything."
"What about Seona?"
My features contort as I hiss, "Shit."
"Right, you have to go home and see her." Calli rubs her temple like she's getting a headache. "Besides, you just said Scotland is your home and you'll never belong here. That means you won't be happy here, so if you stay, you'll resent me for making you do it."
I hadn't meant it that way. Had I? Christ, I donnae know anything right now.
Leaning forward, I bracket her body with my hands beside hers on the counter. My breaths bluster over her face. "What do you want of me? I will do whatever you say, if you'll only tell me what I have to do to make you happy."
"Aidan, go home. Take care of Seona and the baby."
I duck my head and scrape my lips across hers. "Donnae want to go. I love you. I need you with me."
"Doesn't matter what we want." She sucks in a breath, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "This was never meant to be. It's time we face the truth."
Not meant to be? That's rubbish. Besides, we can make our own fate if she will ever give up her fears.
I've lived with too much guilt for six months, but here in this kitchen with the only woman I've ever loved, I suddenly realize the guilt holds no sway over me anymore. Whatever happens, I will find a way to get Calli back. I can't just let her go. She means everything to me.
But I know she needs time to come to terms with what's happened—not just the baby news, but also the fact she loves me. Memories of our time together flash through my mind, and the truth hits me so hard I almost gasp.
My mouth still hovers close to hers, but now it's stretched into a tight scowl. "You're wrong. We are meant to be. I went to that club because it's what Lachlan did, yes. But you mistook me for someone else, like Erica mistook Lachlan for her blind date. I didn't make that happen. We took a road trip, which was your idea, and I didn't realize that's what Lachlan and Erica did too. Lachlan only told me a few days ago. Erica had legal problems and so do you. Erica had a dog and you've got puppies."
"What's your point?"
I splay a palm over her lower back, drawing her nearer. "I didn't do any of that, couldn't have planned it if I tried. Fate brought you to me, and me to you. We belong together."
