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The very next morning, Matilda tried to act as though nothing had happened. She went about her usual business, having breakfast with Lady Amy before they headed into the garden for their morning reading and their exploration. Yet as she went about her day, everything seemed to remind her of the night before, and she could not stop the way her stomach twisted, and heat pooled between her thighs whenever she thought of the Duke and all he had made her feel.
It was even more painful and embarrassing to remember when she arrived in the drawing room with Lady Amy for their usual music lesson to find that someone was awaiting them.
Mr Hayman looked more than a little pleased to see them as they entered, and as usual Lady Amy threw herself at her uncle and insisted that she was terribly pleased to see him. Though Matilda was also pleased to see him, she could not help but feel a flush to her cheeks when he looked at her, wondering whether he might have already spoken to the Duke before they returned to the house.
“Mr Hayman, does His Grace know that you are here?” Matilda asked.Has he told his best friend all that happened between us last night?
“Yes, Miss Percival. Watson is well aware that I am here,” Mr Hayman assured her, standing up from the pianoforte stool where he had been waiting for them, where Lady Amy had thrown her arms around him before he could even move or speak.
Ruffling Lady Amy’s head like nobody else could, Mr Hayman crouched down a little beside her and asked, “Lady Amy, I was wondering if you might give Miss Percival and me a moment alone to discuss something very important?”
“Is it about me?” Lady Amy responded quickly, pouting, “Because you know how I hate it when you adults talk about me behind my back.”
“I promise it is not about you, my little Amy flower,” Mr Hayman assured her with a brilliant smile and Matilda’s stomach clenched.If he did not want to talk about Lady Amy, then what else could he possibly have to discuss with her?
“Then I suppose I will allow it!” Lady Amy said with great authority, straightening her back and beaming at him before she turned to the governess and added, “If it well with you, Miss Percival, I shall return to the gardens for half an hour and see if I can pick some of the flowers we were discussing this morning for Papa?”
“I think your father would be very pleased with them,” Matilda responded, unable to stop from smiling at how thoughtful Lady Amy was. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought of the Duke. Though she had seen him very little that day, she still remembered all too well the night before. In fact, every time she closed her eyes, she could still see his face smiling back at her after their love making had drawn to an end and they both lay beside the fireplace in each other’s arms long afterward.
Feeling the colour drain from her face, Matilda gulped as she realised that Mr Hayman was watching her closely. “Are you well, Miss Percival?”
Clearing her throat quickly, Matilda nodded and suggested, “Might we sit, Mr Hayman? We have been walking in the gardens all morning and I feel my legs might give way at any moment.”
“Oh, yes, of course,” Mr Hayman replied, quickly gesturing Matilda over to the nearest couch where he endeavored to sit beside her even as Lady Amy hurried from the room with the newfound freedom she had been afforded.
“Do not be too long, Lady Amy. We still have a music lesson to get on with before lunch!” Matilda called after her, not quite sure she was ready to learn what Mr Hayman wished to talk to her about.
Is he going to make some lude comment about me being one ofthosegovernesses?she wondered, feeling her stomach and her throat clench painfully. Yet she quickly reminded herself,Watson would not betray me that way.Her skin tingled with surprise when she realised that might well have been the first time she had allowed herself to think of him as Watson and not simply the Duke.
“Miss Percival, I have a confession to make,” Mr Hayman told her, surprising her out of her own thoughts the moment that he leaned over and gripped hold of her hand in both of his. He looked at her earnestly and Matilda was almost sure she saw nervousness shimmering in his gaze.
Why am I surrounded by such handsome men?Matilda asked herself, unable to stop from noticing that Mr Hayman was almost as handsome as the Duke himself.
“Then please, Mr Hayman, confess it as you look as you are about to burst,” Matilda insisted, feeling her stomach tighten further, unsure as to whether she wished to hear it.
“Miss Percival, I have grown very fond of you over these last few weeks,” Mr Hayman said, his eyes gleaming and a hopeful smile upon his lips. And it was in that moment that Matilda knew there was no way that Watson could have told his friend about what had happened between them the evening before.
“I…I am very fond of you also, Mr Hayman,” Matilda said quickly and carefully. “I do believe that we have grown to be very good friends.”
At that, the teacher’s face fell.
Mr Hayman scoffed a little at her words and lowered his head, an eyeroll barely visible as he did so. Matilda felt her stomach clench with concern at the man’s response.
“I was afraid that you would say that,” he admitted with a deep sigh and Matilda felt her heart clenching for the man. It was clear from the look on his face that it was not at all what he had been hoping for.
Sucking in a deep breath, Matilda gently reached out for the man’s shoulder and squeezed it comfortingly, “Forgive me, Mr Hayman but I am afraid I could never have a romantic relationship with any friend of my employer. It would make things far too complicated.”
Though the words she spoke were the truth, she could not help but feel as though there was far more to it than that. Her chest tightened and she bit the inside of her lip, praying that the man would not notice.
Mr Hayman slipped his shoulder out from beneath her hand and for a moment she thought that perhaps she might have offended him more than she had meant to. Yet when he turned his gaze up to hers and smiled quite sadly, she saw reassurance in his eyes, “I understand and I appreciate your honesty, Miss Percival.”
Matilda’s chest tightened further and her gut churned. Even though she told herself she was telling the truth, she could not help but feel as though she was lying not just to him but also to herself. After all that had happened over the last few days, she felt as though she had been lying to herself for a very long time.
There was silence between the two of them for several moments before Mr Hayman inhaled deeply and placed a hand on top of hers, “Miss Percival, I would appreciate it if we could keep this conversation between the two of us.”
Matilda struggled to stop herself from raising an eyebrow. Though she could understand that the teacher was proud man and did not wish for anybody to know that he had been rejected by her, she could not help but feel as if there were more to the request than that.
“I would prefer it if Watson did not find out about this,” he admitted, looking at her with an almost pleading expression and Matilda felt her suspicions heightening. Still, she nodded. The last thing she wanted was to go and tell Watson what had occurred here today. In fact, she had not seen him all day and she was certain that when she did, there would be more pressing matters on her mind.
