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Yet looking at her now, though he could see she was clearly beautiful and graceful, he felt nothing. At least, he did not feel the way that he did whenever he looked at Matilda. When he looked at her, he felt as though his heart might explode in his chest and she would be the only thing keeping him breathing.
“Is something the matter, Watson?” Lady Florentia asked, looking quite concerned as if she sensed that he was not there with glad tidings. She stepped across the room, coming to stand before him and Watson struggled to stop himself from stepping back. He had to be careful not to offend her too badly. Even if he did not wish to marry her, he did not wish to make an enemy of the woman.
“Lady Florentia, I fear I have a confession to make,” Watson explained, feeling the heat rising in his cheeks and he was absolutely sure that she could see it on his face. She raised one perfectly shaped dark eyebrow and again gestured to the nearest couch.
“If something is troubling you terribly, then we must sit and talk about it,” Lady Florentia said calmly though it was clear from the set of her jaw that it was taking everything in her to remain so.
Knowing it was likely going to be quicker just to agree, Watson stifled a sigh and began to follow Lady Florentia over to the couch. Sitting at a distance, he waited for her to adjust her skirts into a comfortable position before explaining, “Lady Florentia, I wish for you to know that the time we have shared together has been quite pleasant, but I am afraid I have come to the realisation that I am not yet ready to enter into another marriage.”
The lady’s mouth practically dropped open but almost the instant that it did, she quickly covered it with her fingertips, looking absolutely gob smacked.
“Your Grace, what exactly is it that you are telling me?” she asked, her voice only half-demanding and half-curious. “I am an intelligent woman, but I do not wish to misconstrue this information.”
The lump in Watson’s throat felt as if it were growing steadily larger and he feared that in a few moments he would be unable to speak at all. Sucking in a deep breath, he admitted, “My lady, I am here to put an end to our courtship.”
At that, Lady Florentia jumped to her feet and began to pace up and down the room. She swished around so close to the fireplace that, for a moment, Watson feared her skirts might catch fire. Holding his breath, ready to leap to her aid if they did, he waited for her response. When she finally did respond it was his turn to be absolutely gob smacked.
“This is because of your little governess, is it not?” she demanded, her blue eyes glaring back at him with barely veiled hatred. Though it was aimed at him, Watson could sense that it was more for the person who was not in the room, the person being accused of causing the problem when really the fault was not her own but his.
Dropping his gaze and hanging his head, Watson sighed deeply and shook his head. His shoulders hunched and he felt heavier than he ever had in his entire life. For several seconds, he could not bring himself to look at Lady Florentia.
“Tell me the truth, Watson, you owe me that!” she snapped at him and Watson could feel her angry gaze burning into him. He struggled not to flinch beneath it and sucked in another breath to steel himself before finally lifting his gaze to look at her.
“Lady Florentia, this has nothing to do with Miss Percival and everything to do with me,” he said. Though in some ways he knew deep down that she was right, he was also well aware that the governess had only enabled him to see what had already been there before she had turned up, the doubt and anxiety over getting married to a woman who was not entirely right for the position.
Standing up from his seat, Watson moved carefully and slowly to stand before the lady. She continued to glare at him, clearly too angry to remember that she was a lady and as such was unable to show such violent emotions in the face of any man.
“What has changed, Watson?” Lady Florentia demanded. She pulled her handkerchief from the sleeve of her dress and started to fiddle with its edge, looking as though it was all she could do in order to stop herself from lashing out at him instead.
“Up until the governess arrived things were going so terribly well. My mother was adamant that you would soon propose and then you stopped visiting and you stopped writing and…”
She cut off with a sob and Watson cringed as she lifted the handkerchief to her face in order to wipe away some unseen tear. He quickly became certain that he had made the right decision. He could not handle a woman who falsified her emotions in order to get what she wanted.
Matilda would never do any such thing,he thought. Even though he was currently faced with this woman, he could not help but think of the one he wished to be standing before him, the blonde-haired, hazel-eyed governess who made his heart race whenever she was near.
“Forgive me, Lady Florentia, I fear that I rushed into things in the hopes that it would make everything better and I see now that it was a grave mistake to make,” Watson told her. Though he struggled to look her in the eye, he was determined not to look away, certain that she would appreciate his words more if he continued to meet her gaze.
“You believe that we have rushed things?” Lady Florentia gasped incredulously. She took a step away from him, turning her gaze away and shaking her head as though she could not believe what she was hearing. When she looked at him again, her blue eyes were ablaze with cold fire. “We have been courting for near on eight months, Watson, there is absolutely nothing rushed about it!”
Watson’s stomach clenched and he could not help but think,has it truly been so long?Looking back now, he realised that she was quite right. It had indeed been that long although for the last month or so he could not truly have said that they were still courting. He had rarely seen her and when he had, his mind most definitely had not been on courting her. The guilt that bubbled in his stomach grew stronger and he struggled to contain it.
He opened his mouth to respond, but Lady Florentia quickly cut him off. She waved her hand at him and turned away, lifting her handkerchief to cut off a sob before she insisted, “I do not believe that this has nothing to do withher!”
“Miss Percival is a fine young woman and…” the Duke began and Lady Florentia whipped around to face him. The look on her face instantly silenced him and the lump in his throat grew painful.
“There! See! The way you say her name,” she snapped at him, pointing an accusing finger. “I can see it written all over your face. You are in love with her!”
“Lady Florentia, please, this is about us,” Watson insisted, feeling a clawing at his stomach that caused him to realise she may be right.Do I truly love her?he wondered, though he quickly forced the thought away knowing it was not the time to think about her right now. “We are not well suited and I see that now.”
Though she had her back half turned to him, Watson could see the way her shoulders tensed at his words and she hissed under her breath, “I think you ought to leave.”
“Lady Florentia, I…I wish for us to remain…” Watson stammered, never quite getting the words out before Lady Florentia spoke up.
“Lord Worthington, leave now, I beg you!”
Unwilling to make her feel any more uncomfortable than she already did, Watson sighed and bowed, allowing her a moment to change her mind before he slowly started to back away to the door.
Just as he reached it, the sound of footsteps coming down the hall alerted him to the butler arriving with a tray of tea and biscuits.
