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She shook her head, letting her smile grow wider as she walked toward him. “Angus, I wasn’t scared of you. I was furious with Nora. I wanted to scream at her. And I was damn close to doing just that. If I hadn’t forced myself to take a step back, to take a breath…”
His Adam’s apple jerked up and down his throat.
She stopped, barely a foot away from where he stood. “I have suffered with anxiety as long back as I can remember. I take daily medication to help my brain produce serotonin. I panic often that I’m letting anyone I care for down and that I’m pathetic and woeful and no one wants to be with mebecauseI’m me. In crowds, I want to fall through the floor. In situations I’ve never been in before I want to crawl into a hole. I don’t do strangers. I don’t do impulsiveness.”
He studied her. Seemed to search her eyes for something.
She took the final step until she rested her fingers on his chest. “And yet, here I am with you, a stranger. Here I am, ready to spend the rest of my life with you, after only twenty-four hours. I’m standing here, not wanting to fall through your floor, not thinking you hate me, not even thinking you might be sick of me. I feel calm with you. From the beginning. I’m here with you because from the moment I saw you at the airport, I knew…” She pressed her right hand to her chest, over her heart, “right here, you were what I wanted, needed. I want to be impulsive with you for the rest of our lives. I want to make you horny every day eating your cooking. I want to travel with you, stay at home with you, I want to live my life with you. I wouldn’t do that if I was scared of you.”
His nostrils flared. His chest rose and fell with a choppy breath.
She tilted her head, letting her lips curl into a gentle smile. “My therapist told me once that people who suffer from anxiety have a sentry’s brain. Do you know what that means?”
He shook his head, his eyes holding hers.
“It means, my brain is kind of hardwired to worry about everything. Back in the day, when our lives where constantly threatened by wild predators or rival tribes, a sentry would be alert for any threat at all. Any tiny hint of danger. Today, when as a species we’renotneeding to worry about being eaten by sabretooth tigers or giant pythons or killer caveman, a sentry’s mind has nothing really to worry about…and so it seeks things out; and thus we have anxiety.” She closed the tiny space left between them. “But not once, in all the time I’ve been with you, have I worried about you and what you think of me. All I’ve felt is safe. And wanted. And loved.”
His chest rose and fell again.
“So, no, I’m not going to let you take me to the hotel.” She feathered her fingers up his chest, to his jaw. “Because the only thing that scares me is not living my life with you.” She gave him a serious frown. “Do you hear me?”
“I do,” he murmured.
She lifted an eyebrow. “And?”
He lowered his head to hers and kissed her.
Slid his hands around her waist, hauled her hips to his, and kissed her.
And kissed her.
And when he finally stopped kissing her, he nudged his forehead to hers and let out a wobbly breath. “Do you think Bria and Owen would be mad if we got married before them?”
She laughed, tangling her fingers in his hair. “Maybe. But they’ll get over it.”
Epilogue
Christmas Day
“Ta-dah!”Angus strode into the living room, arms akimbo, grin wide. “I’m ready.”
Looking up from buttering her toast at the kitchen counter, Elisa snorted out a chuckle. “Owen says if you wear that shirt to lunch today, he’s going to throw you in the pool.”
Angus crossed to where she stood, smoothing his hands over the front of his T-shirt and the image of mid-shellfish-reaction-Owen printed on it. “He can try.” He stopped at her side, lowering his head to brush his lips over hers. “Happy Christmas, gorgeous one.”
“Gorgeous one? I like that.” She rose up on tiptoe and kissed him back. “Merry Christmas, handsome one.”
He laughed, stole a piece of her toast, and took a playful bite. “Still no Vegemite, I see?”
“Don’t even,” she warned, pointing at him. “You try to make me eat that stuff and I’ll help Owen throw you in the pool.”
Two weeks since she landed in Australia, two weeks since she first met Angus, first pretended to be his fiancée, first fell in love with him, and every day was still the best day of her life.
Every day she fell in love with him more.
Her mom and dad were still refusing to believe she wasn’t coming back to the US—but she knew they were happy for her. They’d told her so at Bria’s and Owen’s engagement party a few days ago. Her mom was especially impressed with Angus. As it turns out, her mom had known she was going to marry her dad the very first time he’d cooked her dinner a week into their courtship (as her mom called it). Elisa—and Bria and Zeta—had been amazed to discover that little nugget of information about their parents at the party. A wonderful sense of happiness had swept through Elisa; falling in love almost at first sight was, it seemed, a family tradition.
Still didn’t stop her parents refusing to believe her and Angus weren’t going to make their future in the US. Of course, she and Angus hadn’t decided. For now, they were just living each day together, and each day was the best day.
